Christmas day was lovely but....

[gravity]

i had more to drink than normal (ha ha thats funny, i normally have only one drink, poor drinker after having children!) and by about 4pm i felt an overwhelming sadness. i dont think it was alcohol induce though, honestly.
i couldnt but help remember last year, my dad stayed with us over the christmas break, we had a lovely lunch with family and friends and this year he just wasnt...... here
i also slightly annoyed at dh for not realising why after preparing a huge lunch for our friends that when it was ready i vacated to the back yard alone for a bit - i know this is petty but sometimes i wish my man was a little more intune, i'm just being silly though and it just makes me feel better to write it and get it off my chest.
xx

Thinking of you. Christmas is a special time and you are bound to miss loved ones! I lost my Dad 3 years ago and I still shed a tear at Christmas..and other times too! He loved Christmas and he loved the Snowman so I bought a Snowman musical ornament as my Christmas momento to him!

thanyou for sharing that with me auntybrandybutter, what a beautiful gesture. can i cat you later? you have been a great support. x

of course you can.
Sometimes its hard to talk to those closest to you and you need someone who shares your experience and understands it

gravity, it takes time, don't be hard on yourself. I think everyone who isn't/hasn't been bereaved tends to think after a prescribed time you must be over it when actually it's a lot more complicated that that isn't it? You should tell your dh though, he can help and sympathise if he knows why you're upset. My dad died in 2001 and thank god, he hated Christmas and was a right PITA about it so I have to say he doesn't particularly come to mind at this time of year! Only in a laughing, he-would-have-hated-this kind of way. It's early days for you, be kind to yourself.

Gravity, I know exactly what you mean, today is v emotional for me, its the last time dad came to my house 4 years ago. he died in his sleep shortly after. I had a cry about him last night and have tears in my eyes as i'm typing this wishing i could phone him (i phoned him at 8am, 12pm and 6pm every day)