oops sorry to hear about this. I hope things get better soon.
You say :"what makes me saddest of all is that she won't see my ds1 and 2 grow up, she loved kids.
They are too young to remember her too".............
My grandma (dads mum) died before I was even thought about, my grandad (dads dad) died when I was around the age of 1. I don't remember them in the sense of visitng them,playing with them etc BUT I was always told about them,shown photos and I have fond memories of the joy they brought to others lives.Even now (aged 26) my mum & dad both tell me stories about my grandparents. My mums dad died about 4 years ago and my mums mum sadly died in July. I have memories of both sets of grandparents,some my own some from others. Remember you are able to keep your mums memory alive. Hope 2006 is a happier year for you. xx