Please or to access all these features

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Scattering ashes, how to go about it?

5 replies

LisMcA · 20/06/2011 17:02

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong topic, but i can't think of anywhere else to post. My FIL passed away earlier this month, he was only 64 and my MIL has taken it quite bad, as you would. She wants to scatter his ashes sooner rather than later.

My FIL was a stonemason all his life and hs been involved in restoring many castles in Scotland. MIL would like him to be scattered at one of these, as he was at his happiest when working on the castles. I've managed to find websites relating to 2 of the casltes, bioth of which are now wedding venues/holiday lets.

Obviously we wouldn't just turn up urn in hand and scatter his ashes willy nilly, but I haven't got a clue how to approach the owners. Both websites have email addresses,but I think this may be a phone call type question. How to you start that conversation?

Also I don't know if there are any laws against scattering ashes anywhere.

If anyone can offer any advice I'd be eternally grateful.

TIA

OP posts:
MayDayChild · 20/06/2011 19:52

I think there are laws, I wanted to scatter ashes of my FIL on his baby grandsons grave in a cemetery. I questioned the council who refused me permission to do so. Something about not being safe to scatter human remains. Tho I cant quite remember exact reason.

We scattered him anyway whilst doing some gardening at the grave and also at his favourite beach in Cornwall. Quite furtively without an urn etc.

If the location is more important than the simple act of scattering, then just go ahead in your own private time and space.

LisMcA · 21/06/2011 11:43

Thank you MayDay, we knew about not being allowed to scatter on a current grave, the undertaker told us.

MIL has been on asking if we can do it next weekend.

OP posts:
aristocat · 24/06/2011 13:42

my dad wanted to be scattered in a nearby woodland, and so whilst arranging his funeral my mom and myself also obtained a certificate to allow us to do this (because it is in a different county to where i live)

perhaps your funeral directors would be able to help.

1944girl · 24/06/2011 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meditrina · 24/06/2011 14:00

Useful link here - the general rule is that you can, with the landowner's permission.

The National Trust for Scotland allows scattering and you need to agree a plan with the manager of the property (exactly where, and when) I dare say other castle owners would take a similar approach.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page