Trying for another baby after losing a child

[AL01]

Hello. I'm new to this forum. My younger son died very suddenly, we think of SIDS, a few months ago at the age of 19 months. As you can imagine, we're all devastated.

Before he died I had wanted to have another baby, but my husband thought two was enough. Now we have both agreed that we'd like to try for another.

We discussed this at the hospital where DS2 was born, and were told we should wait until we are over the grief. Obviously this is never going to happen, and I'm not particularly young.

I know that a new baby won't be the same person, and I don't want to replace DS2, but our future now looks so different, and we need to find a way of moving ahead with that. Even DS1 wants us to have another baby.

Has anyone else been in this position? How long did you wait to try? Were people judgemental if they felt it was too quick? Did you have post- or even ante-natal depression linked to it?

I'd be really glad to hear from anyone who has faced this.

Thanks.

My son died at a similar age leaving his twin alone. Everyone said the same to me and I ignored them and my daughter was born less than a year after my son died. She is the light of my remaining son's life; she was a new and untouched thing in all our lives and she turned the lights back on for us all. It may not be right for everyone, but well over a decade late I haven't regretted my decision for even a fraction of a second. I don't miss him any less, but she is her own sweet self and she helped us all build a new future.