Cant stop thinking about when...

[CFAW]

My ds died almost 6 years ago now, when i was 37 weeks pregnant with him.

I was all over the place and went back to work 8 weeks after he died. And still to this day what a stupid woman said to me goes around in my mind over and over again.

She said "Oh i know how you feel, my dog died recently" And out of politeness and shock i comforted her. And gave my sympathies.

Still now to this day i feel that dizzy numb feeling throughout my entire body when i relive it in my mind.

One memory i wish i could erase.

Anyone else been through similar?

CFAW , When my ds died my friends use to call those moments my "Monty Python times" . Some of the stupid things people said/did to me are just ridiculous .
A friend (ex friend) kept coming to my house to have a wee sob , because she was going through a break up with her boyfriend and apparently that was similar .

I am so sorry you are going through this .

oh travellingwilbury, not surprised she is an ex friend. People just don't have the sense they were born with. Sorry for your loss.

My best friend also, She didn't come to my sons funeral , she went on holiday instead. and said its not like i missed a birthday party or anything.

Wow , that is weird , have you managed to tell her how you felt about that ?
I do know that people never know what to do or say to us but the amount of times I ended up looking after someone else and making sure they were ok is just odd .

No, i never did, we did fall out over it and i screamed at her a bit. But she doesn't have children so i don't think she would really understand, until she has them.

I know what you mean about the looking after people bit too, with me i was robotic when i did. like my body was being worked by someone else, almost.

Its the strangest, most unnatural thing to go through i think. I feel a better parent for it though, Every time ds2 would cry, or be fussy, i would just think he is fussing for the both of them. Do you have other children too, or were they your only baby?

I have gone on to have two more boys , they help a lot . Though obviously when they are playing up I always figure that my first wee boy would have perfectly behaved

I think you go onto autopilot and all those instilled manners kick in , I always thought I would be a shrieking harpie if something like this happened to me but actually other than a few moments I was always so aware of not upsetting others that I tried really hard to be "fit for polite company" . Odd isn't it ?

I know what you mean. I have had two more boys too :)

I must say though, my lowest day and i was so ashamed of myself too.

I was in asda two days after he was born (don't know whose bright idea that was) and a lady was ignoring her new baby, who was crying. And i had to stop myself taking him, i just wanted to scream at her "look at your baby, or i will take him if you cant be bothered!".

Poor woman was probably exhausted looking after a new baby and shopping. Really bad day.

CFAW I lost a baby mid pregnancy a couple of years ago and went on to have another child.

It is fixed in my mind that the young doctor who examined me couldn't look me in the eye when she told me I was already 3cm and there was no chance of a stitch. And then she legged it and said 'I'll leave it to you to break the news to your husband'. Gutless cow.

I hope she's learnt better people skills now. I honestly couldn't speak to her and went completely outside my body.

All docs and nurses in those situations should know that they things they say and do will stay with people for the rest of their lives.

Workmates, however...bloody hell. How anyone could equate the death of a child with their dog.

deardoctor, i know what you mean actually that day is etched in my mind too.

I think the worst thing with my was i knew it was going to happen, i was saying from 5 months in he never moves properly, i was constantly up the hospital saying something was wrong. I also told one of the docs he had died, the day that he did, And she said "don't be silly, we have no proof of that yet!"
That came 5 mins later.

I am so sorry for your loss, i don't know why anyone has to go through the loss of a child, the world is so unfair!

I'm so sorry CFAW.

I had similar the other day, except this dog is missing, not dead. Apparently it's just like losing a child, and there were general murmurs of agreement and sympathy. Fuck me, some of them were at my dd's funeral not three years ago!