My Mum made me a better person, I need her but she has gone

[BattleHymn]

She has actually been gone for 8 years. Most of the time it all seems very long ago and the pain of losing her is a quiet sadness rather than anything more visceral or intense. But tonight I am so sad not to have my Mum here to guide me with wise words and quiet support and the unconditional love that only a mother can give.

My Mum used to help me see things differently. She pulled me up when I was behaving badly. She challenged me to be a better person. Nobody does that now and I need it. I need her to help me be a better mother myself. I need to help me be a better wife. I need her to hug me and tell me its going to be OK.

I really, really need her and she is not here and she never will be and its sodding unfair.

It is bloody unfair. I feel for you, I really do.

Have you any close friends that can come close to filling the void? Don't get me wrong, I know there's noone like your Mum.

Hi batttlehym My mum died nearly 5 years ago. She was 87. I miss her so much. Last April my son died suddenly. He was just 34. The first person I wanted was my mum, although I was 58. My mum would have come to me and stayed until she knew it was ok to go.

There is no love like a mother's. I think our mums are always with us even after they are gone. I still talk to my mum and I know she is listening. Take care. xx

Thank you both and Lavandes I am very sorry for both your losses.

I don't think anyone can ever fill the void. I do have good friends but its a totally different relationship I have with them. They love me but friendship is conditional even between the oldest and closest of friends. And friends prioritise their own lives and families, as they should. Nothing comes close to a good mother/daughter relationship. My mum brought me up alone after my dad died suddenly when I was five months old. I was an only child so it was just Mum and me and we were exceptionally close. She was an amazing mother: fun, kind, insightful, wise and loving. I lost her when I was 23 and that was far, far too soon. I feel sorry for myself but more than that I feel sorry for her because she deserved a longer life.

Battle - I'm with you honey - I lost my mum in August last year and it's bloody horrid..................I will never get over losing her and it is so unfair - she was such a wonderful selfless person and yet she had such a shit 4 years with one illness and another - she never moaned or complained and even wrote us a letter which we found after she died asking us to not feel sad by her death!!!

I remember the one and only time I cried in front of her...she just said "well I am 72" as if it was nothing..........I am bitter she didnt get another 15 years of good living, she bloody deserved it!

I talk to my mum every day - I always say hello and good morning to her..she must be somewhere surely, my lovely mum cant be gone!!

Lavandes - I am so sorry for your loss too, I dont know how you would ever recover from losing a child, I know I wouldnt.

Hugs xxx