Struggling with the loss of my dad, a DH with depression and job uncertainty

[jersey]

Hi, I just need to talk to someone, I lost my dad in oct last yr and although he had cancer it was very sudden and unexpected. At the same time my DH is suffering from depression after pressure at work and then redundancy which isn't getting better. On top of all this I have been the breadwinner and going through a year and half of uncertainity if I will still have a job due to the current cutbacks. Also struggling with eldest (6) at school as I think he is reacting to the tension at home, but not sure what to do as everytime I feel better about things my DH is in one of his bad sessions and I end up in tears.

Don't think things will get better until DH gets a job again as this is the main issue with him, not working, but he worked in the building industry and just not many jobs. Plus due to 3 kids needing childcare too expensive unless he gets a similar job again.

Sorry to go on, but need to get it out.

That's a lot you're carrying there.

I was moved to respond when you said, 'everytime I feel better about things my DH is in one of his bad sessions and I end up in tears'.

I am struggling with bereavement too and I know how hard it is to cope with other people's 'stuff' when you're struggling to get through the days. And you have so much else on top of that. It sounds to me that you could really use a place to vent.

Would you have any time free to see someone from Cruse, or even to talk on the phone? I think you're right that you need to get it out, and if DH is being counterproductive, it shouldn't mean just bottling it up. You need some you time to express your feelings without worrying about other people's.

Hi latrucha, thanks for your message, possibly after the kids are in bed when DH is at work is the only time when I could talk.

Do you think it might help?

Not sure really.

How are things now?

A bit better it goes in waves. Went to visit my mum with the kids today and felt quiet emotional as so many reminders and memories. Felt better this week as my job is safe, I had that confirmed, some of the weight off my shoulders.

One thing less!

Yes, it helps a lot knowing I won't lose my job.