Feeling really sad tonight - Could somebody tell me if this feeling will ever end?

[Coathanger]

Not sure if I am posting on the right board, but really need to talk.

A very close and wonderful friend had her baby yesterday. I went to see them both this evening. Baby is beautiful and perfect in everyway and I am so, so pleased for friend, and wish her every happiness.

But I am in a real state now. I had a miscarriage in August and I have been feeling so much better in the last couple of weeks. But after seeing my friend in hospital holding and feeding her baby, combined with the fact I should be 20 weeks tomorrow, I am a complete wreck again. I found myself driving back from the hospital, sobbing and begging for my baby back - its like I have gone back tot the same way I was months ago.

Don't get me wrong, I am not "nasty jealous", I don't begrudge my frinds her happiness, in fact I am over the moon for her. But at the same time I am so sad...

Sorry its so long. Just really need to get this off my chest...

Beachedwhale & Munz {{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

Thank you both so much.

Beachedwhale - so happy to hear that things turned out so well for you and DH. After such a tough time the arrival of such little miracles must have been beyond belief. Well, done, and thank you for giving me hope xx

And Munz me old mate How are you? How are things cooking? Thanks for your kind words, they really do make a huge differnce. thank you hun xx

Hi,
BIG HUGS FROM ME TOO
So sorry for your loss. I totally know what you are going through. I will get better . I promise.
Take each day as it comes. laugh and cry as you want to.

I have a lovely baby boy now. five months old and wears 12month-old outfits, healthy, smiley and cute. What more can I ask for but you know what? His is my only child. my third pregnancy.

I have spent all of today being miserable trying not to cry because my daughter would have been two years old today. she died at five weeks. second pregnancy.

The first was a miscarriage and i cant help but wonder. I am glad i have the one but its like being told that at least i have one leg so why complain that the other is missing.

After dd died, it suddenly seemed like everyone i knew was pregnant, I avoided then all like the plague and when i eventually saw them all looking happy, i was very sure they were all showing off and trying to rub it in. why cant they be considerate and not look so blissful. It hurts for gods sake. but I had to get over it and i respect and applaud all women who cope so well with miscarriage and infertility. the hv still thinks i need antidepressants sometimes.

Finefatmama - Oh my sweetheart. You have had arotten time I realise that what I'm going through is normal, and I am learning to accept it, but it is still so hard. I am hoping it will happen for me and i will get the baby i want so much, but it will be a painful path to get it.
I'm so glad things worked out for you and you have your very bonny little boy And you have the memories of your other 2 angels, who are looking over you Thanks for you message, hun xxxx

Hello Coathanger, sorry I haven't had time to read what everyone else has said, but wanted you to know that those feelings will end one day. My first miscarriage still made me cry well over a year later, the second one only a matter of weeks (very different circumstances) which I think must show that you absolutely can't predict how your body and brain and heart get over this, but they will do it in their own way and in their own time, and it is OK to feel happy and sad about people with babies and you are not odd or silly or dramatic or anything other than feeling the way you are feeling.

And I hope you are feeling very loved too.

SH - yep still cooking lots of worry last week but all's well. still looking in on u guys on the m/c thread form time to time, but don't wanna post (it's all newbie now!) lol.

u just keep ur pecker up girl and keep on smiling. would it help for ur DH to take xinc tablets once his treatment's all finished?

Hi Stockinghanger, just to let you know that I really feel for you and know just how much you are hurting. One of my BF's announced she was 15 weeks today (without knowing that today would have been my 12 week scan) and it has just destroyed me. I am so happy for her but so sad for people like me and you who are struggling to cope with "being brave" when really inside, we are collapsing.

I had a m/c at 7 weeks on 1st Nov 05. Some day are up, some days v down. this is my 2nd m/c and so much harder.

Hope you are feeling a bit better now hun and sending lots of hugs.