My dad died last year and I am getting myself in a state about the upcoming anniversary.
My mum lives about 300 miles away ( am only child), she is disabled and has carers who look after her on a daily basis.
The anniversary is on a Tuesday, dh is away, so I would need to pull the kids out of school for probably 2 days if I was to go down there - and do what??
I always replay events in my head on anniversary days/birthdays, so I will be thinking, oh, its 6am this time last year I had the call to drive down to see him before he died, oh its noon, I arrived at the hospital and saw him, and so on, until the time of his death, and then I will replay post death events, until the day is over.
My mother has been v stoical about her loss whereas I have taken it much harder, so I don't want to upset her.
If I stay here, what do I do with myself, and if I take the kids and go down to her, it just seems so pointless, so we can sit and wring our hands .
Nothing is going to bring him back but am dreading his anniversary more than anything.
What did you all do on the 1st anniversary - was it a normal day?
Mother and I are not public grievers, so a balloon release, or doves, or advert in the paper, or cards to the grave etc is just not something we would do.