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Original poster

Ddad died on bank holiday Monday on the sunniest of sunniest days

56 replies

bibbitybobbityhat · 04/05/2011 20:11

I feel I need to post this to update the very lovely people who have been taking an interest, but I'm still not really up to writing it all out because I'll just cry (again).

Anyway, thanks from me to all of you who posted on my previous threads and pm'd me.

OP posts:
Hassled · 04/05/2011 21:49

I'm so sorry. I love the thought of a tree growing over him in Stockbroker Surrey, and I love that it was a lovely sunny day. The meet-up might do you some good, but take everything slowly.

madamimadam · 04/05/2011 21:54

Bibbity, I am so sorry for your loss.

I know what you mean about the sunshine - It's the first spring since my MIL passed away - I never knew before that weather could jar so much.

Hope you have someone with you who can take care of you and give you comfort and rest. You and your dad are in my prayers x

Pagwatch · 04/05/2011 21:55

Oh bibb
I am so very sorry. Such a beautiful day.
I hope you are being patient with yourself. I just remember waves of emotion and being quite calm and reasonable one minute and then a heap the next.
It's your dad. It changes you.

I lost my dad 7 years ago in April. Spring always reminds me of him but actually if his anniversary falls on a sunny day, it kind of feels like a gift.

It matters not a jot in the scheme of things but I am thinking of you.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 04/05/2011 21:58

You are all lovely (sniff).

Paggy, he is going to be not far away from you.

He wasn't a stockbroker, or anything like it in his life, just happened to live quite close to Guildford!

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/05/2011 22:01

Hello Bibbity. I am so very sorry to hear about your dad.
Spring is a bittersweet time to lose someone you love.
The anniversaries are difficult becuase of the promise of new life but at the same time its lovely to see the flowers growing and the trees in bud.

I hope you can get to the meet up.
Take care x

5inthebed · 04/05/2011 22:05

So sorry to hear about your dad bibbity.

A woodland burial sounds beautiful.

Valpollicella · 04/05/2011 22:05

BBH I think I have just sent you a message on FB, and also a PM on here.

I am so so sorry for your loss xx

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 04/05/2011 22:19

Are you going/coming Mrs de V?

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/05/2011 22:25

I am.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 04/05/2011 22:28

Oooh.

OP posts:
TotalChaos · 04/05/2011 22:31

very sorry about your dad Bibbity.T

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 04/05/2011 22:33

Thank you so much TC.

I hoped I would never need to know how nice it is to have virtual strangers thinking of you, iykwim.

OP posts:
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 04/05/2011 22:37

so sorry bibbity xx

thefirstMrsDeVere · 04/05/2011 22:54

Ooooh back at you Bibbity Smile

It will be fab to meet you.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/05/2011 09:25

So sorry Bibbity

Lost my mum 8 months ago so I know how hard it is.....please be gentle on yourself.

The sun was shining on your lovely dad and he will always be shining on you.

Lots of hugs xxx

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 05/05/2011 10:42

Aww, sorry for your loss too Betty.

This morning I overslept and the dc were late for school for the first time ever. I have suddenly got a terrible cold and I think that, combined with me waking up for a couple of hours in the night every night for the past two or three months, has just wiped me out.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/05/2011 10:52

Nights are the worst I have to agree....talk about brain overload!!

It will get better!!!

ChippingIn · 05/05/2011 11:03

Bibbity - I'm so sorry :( I hope you got to see him again (last I heard you were going back up but felt you had already said what you needed to - which is great!). No matter how much you knew it was coming, nothing changes the way you feel when it happens. Grieve my lovely, don't stop the tears... they have to come out sometime x Grieving is utterly exhausting - it takes a lot of effort to hold it all together and get through the day.

The woodland burial sounds lovely - well, as lovely as these things can be.

As for the Osama thing - haven't they said he died on the Sunday? Anyway, even if he does share the same day of passing as your Dad - it matters not - it's the only thing he has and will share with your Dad because if there is any kind of afterlife - they will not be in the same place!

xxx

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 05/05/2011 11:34

I did thank you Chipping. I saw him at the hospice on Sunday evening about 14 hours before he died. I went back to the hospice on the Monday to see him one last time, but got there about 5 minutes too late! Sad.

But my stepmother was with him when he actually died. And in a way it was right that it should have just been the two of them. They had a blissfully happy marriage.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 05/05/2011 11:46

I'm pleased you got to see him again :) and even though you just missed him, I'm pleased you were pretty much there when he died. At least you didn't have to be told over the phone and drive there knowing he'd already gone x

What is your relationship with your SM like? Will you be able to be supportive of each other?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityhat · 05/05/2011 16:43

Have a reasonable relationship with my step mother (she has been brilliant over the last 6 months, actually, caring for my dad virtually single-handed) but my older brother and three younger half siblings are there with her pretty much all the time atm so she is getting lots of support. She is still pretty shocked though. Sadly she seems to have been in denial about just how ill he was. Its nice of you to ask Chipping.

OP posts:
DameShirleyKnot · 05/05/2011 16:46

Just read this (I've been avoiding bereavement a little bit lately)

So sorry to hear this bibbity. You must be very kind to yourself.

bigTillyMint · 05/05/2011 19:00

Oh Bibbity, just found this - so sorry to hear about your dadSad

I am going to the meet-up - if you are looking for someone to travel with?

dizzyblonde · 05/05/2011 19:05

So sorry to hear about your Dad. A woodland burial sounds lovely, both my parents are buried in a country church yard on the downs in West Sussex. A perfect place to visit for a few minutes peace, we planted cowslips on their grave. The pain recedes and leaves many happy memories altough they still bring tears.

ChippingIn · 05/05/2011 19:06

Bibbity - don't let yourself feel left out will you x It will take a long time for the shock to wear off for her - no matter what you 'know' your heart just wont take it in. I'm pleased she appears to have a lot of support - do you?

I hope you go to the meet up and have a real blast!! Have a great night, let your hair down and forget about the real world for the night x