While i do try to "keep my chin up" and smile as if nothing bothers me, inside my guts are twisting, im not sure how much longer i can do it.

[bigbumum]

So ive had 5 mcs, been ttc number 2 for 4 years, its not happening and no one can tell me why or what is wrong as everything comes back as normal.

I have recently accepted that i will not be having a 2nd child.I have ds who is 7 but had 2 mcs before we got him.

My friend was ttc at the same time as me, and she discovered that she was pregnant as i was suffering my 5th and final mc.

Her baby was concieved using medication and i couldnt have been more delighted for her.
She asked me to be her birthing partner,i was chuffed and said yes.

Now though she asked me to go to baby clinic to get her lo weighed. It was full of brand new tiny babies whos cries actually gave me pain in my chest.
It affected me in a way i never ever imagined it would, i would not have gone with her had i suspected i would be so upset by it.

I was very anxious. But didnt show it, kept deep breathing.

Her baby is totally gorgeous and i babysit for her a couple of times a week, but i find myslef gettng all choked up when i look into the babies eyes.
Its so so hard

i'm so sorry.

i can't imagine that grief you must be feeling.

i don't want to sound insensitive, i don't know about repeated mc's, but have only heard that some people do have to have drugs to prevent one?? is that true?

the sadness for the losses you have experienced came out when you saw the babies, and that is normal. you can't contain it.

It depends on the reasons for the loss.
For me there is nothing apparently that they can do definitivley. They have suggested several differnt things for the "next time" i get pregnant. Its been nearly 18 months since last mc, been ttc since without any luck.

Its an overwhelming sadness some days. Other days are ok, i can cope.