missing my mum

[choclab]

was last August -feels like yesterday ..

i think about her everyday , the pain i feel in my stomach when i do is unbareable at times ...

i had to go to the loft to get something yesterday , i have alot of her clothes up there , ones she wore before ...
i hugged them and smelt her ..on them , and cried my eyes out with the loss i feel and the pain ....in my stomach , i still cant believe shes gone from my life ..

I relive the weeks that built up to it all , the days in the hospital ...going over every detail what the doctors said and not said ...

sorry going on just needed to talk to someone , thanks for listening .

cholab i really feel for you, lost my mum to breast cancer dec 2009, and i still miss her terribly, it took about a year for me to think about her without feeling the loss, i can now talk about her and enjoy her memory without filling up, it gets easier i promise, and the pain does fade, but i don't know that i will ever get to the stage where i won't miss her. in the first few months i used to think, "i must tell mum, she'll find that funny" or endeering, and then i would remember.

plant a tree or light a candle, try to remember her in a positive way, i am so sorry for your lossxxxx

thank you gkys - and im so sorry for your loss also .

the tree sounds a good idea ..
my mum used to grow Hosters in pots and loved gardening , and i managed to get a pot from her garden, which died back in winter and now has come back to life ,looking green and healthy , i look at it and think of my mum as she planted it , and now i have it ...

i have lots of complications which isnt helping with me grieving and accepting shes gone , ie , her partner , house , possesions , all is tricky and difficult , i hope my anger and sadness will pass .

thanks again

Thinking of you choclab, its so hard. 11 weeks for me tomorrow :( and like you sometimes all I can think of is those last days in hospital.

August is no time, be kind to yourself, sorry you have complications to deal with, but you just keep thinking of lovely memories you had with your mum

xx

Thinking of you bothxxxx

I am hoping it gets easier too. 2 months for me and it hurts more than any other loss.

ps. Sorry for your loss.

Choc - I lose my mum in August too and its hell!!!!! I am still at the bitter/tearful stage although on the surface I am fine.

DH's mum has severe dementia at the moment and seeing her breaks my heart, reminds me of my mum (she had cancer tho not alzheimers)..its horrid!!

Choc - in my front garden I have a little section for mum. A friend bought me a rose bush for her which DH planted, i bought an angel and a couple of other bits and pieces....never before have I looked after a plant so well and it is my own little corner to remember and dedicate to mum xx

Big hugs to you all.