Any support networks for parents bereaved due to medical negligence?

[fiveisanawfullybignumber]

I have a very dear friend who is suffering so much at the moment. Her little girl wasn't even 2 and this was preventable/treatable. She has spoken to cruise but feels no one really understands her situation, as they all had children who were very ill with no effective treatments available or had accidents. can anyone point me in the right direction to help her please?

What a terrible and tragic situation your friend is in.

My heart goes out to her and to you as you try and help her.

I do not know about this charity personally but it may help - or at least put your friend in touch with others who could help.

[http://www.childbereavement.org.uk/]

The woman who writes this blog (below) lost her daughter one year ago to an illness which does not normally cause death. It is a terrible sad situation and Susan writes about how she feels and what she has experienced in a very moving way. I am sure she would understand how your friend feels. The blog is very raw and may or may not be helpful for your friend at this moment in time, but I feel it would be helpful to her at some point, at least would tell her that she is not alone.

[http://susansobspot.blogspot.com]

Also this site (below) has many links and some may help you to find things to help your friend, I would suggest you take a look and see what is relevant as all these links (below) may be overwhelming for her.

[http://www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk/links.htm]

My sympathies are with your friend. I can't imagine it. But reading Susan's blog has given me more idea, at least some idea, of things that are totally unhelpful (to avoid) and things that may help a little so I would recommend taking a look.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I really don't know what to do, she's so desparately sad and angry at the same time. I had a quick peek at Susan's blog this morning, she seems to explain it well. will have a longer look then probably put a link to my friend. She might like to know there is someone else who can understand her anger and grief as she experiences it. I can only try and it breaks my heart, but I'll never fully understand the agony she's going through.

Oh.

Don't know how to put this but... there's a chance Susan's sob spot is a fake.

A while back she came on MN and talked a lot about her story, was extremely nasty to other posters and was eventually identified as someone who'd trolled here under other names and with completely different stories.

It damaged a lot of people who'd trusted her and tried to support her on the bereavement threads.

I know of no proof she isn't a bereaved mother in addition to all her horrible behaviour, but please think very carefully before recommending her site to a friend.

So, so sorry about your friend's loss.

fiveisanawfullybignumber there was a lot of discussion on here about Susan and the possibility that she was not real. It was quite a long time ago.

You may wish to take this into consideration fiveisanawfullybignumber when you give/if you give this link to your friend.

I have had lots of contact with Susan via her blog and by email and have read her blog for a long time.

I am not a bereaved mother and only replied to your post because I did not want it to go unanswered.

I have NO WISH at all to re-ignite any discussion of Susan's blog on here or elsewhere. Her blog may or may not be helpful to your friend that was my only thought and you or your friend may wish to decide this.

Please just take that link and the others (if you wish to) as you would anything else you find on the Internet - for what it is worth to you.

Your friend can decide how she feels about it and what, if anything, is helpful for her.

My thoughts are with you both.

Thanks for all that info, i will definitely reconsider.

fiveisanawfullybignumber totally up to you but if you found the site helpful why not tell your friend the story and let her decide. I think when you read it all you see it is a very truthful account of bereavement.

fiveisanawfullybignumber as far as the medical side of it goes I wonder if the hospital doctors can offer advice, counselling etc? Is there any course of action she can take in relation to this? Not that it will bring her daughter back, of course, but that she may feel it is better to do something in relation to this?

Just thought of another website I visited a while ago. I am not a bereaved parent but I have friends who are so I looked for a site that would have some sort of prayer on it. (I am a Christian.) I am very aware you and, more significantly, your friend may not be a Christian or at all 'religious', or may be but may also be very angry and not want to look at anything Christian or connected to prayer. BUT IF she were interested this site has a lovely prayer and lots of people have posted comments of all kinds - which do reflect different feelings and may just help to assure your friend she is not alone.

I CANNOT vouch for anything or anyone on the site as I just discovered it on the Internet.

If it is not appropriate then feel free not to share it but there may be a time when she wants to read about this. It may make her feel sad or angry or whatever, but she already feels immensely sad and angry and at least reading of others would give her that chance to feel some connection.

southernserenity-juanita.blogspot.com/2010/06/bereaved-mothers-prayer.html

And finally there is a site called healing Hearts which is, I think, a Christian site in the USA. I CANNOT vouch for it but it looks interesting.

www.healingheart.net/index.html

The only reason I suggest this one really is because it has a page which enables people to email others whose children have died as a result of (as they term it on the site) medical negligence. The page is at

www.healingheart.net/penpals/child-adult/child_medneg.html

Although it does not necessarily seem that the people who use these sites, to contact each other or post or whatever, are necessarily Christians.

I cannot emphasise enough that I have not had personal experience of using these two sites and just found them on the Internet. The fact they are in the USA may mean you feel they are not suitable but I am afraid it does seem that the USA sites pop up first and I am not sure if UK equivalent sites exists.

I feel I have given you lots of stuff to look at and maybe it is all too much!
Hope it is not too overwhelming.

Please just take and pass on what you feel is right at the right time, it may be that she will be more responsive later. My limited experience of bereavement is that it is a long, long process and maybe at different times different things will be of help.

All the best to you, as you support your friend,

Helen

Thank you so much Helen, you are sooo kind. I hope the med negligence penpal thing will be of help to her. She so desparately wants to talk to someone who will feel the same amount of injustice as her. She's just had more bad news today and is very low. I hope she'll spend the day with me and my younger children on Tuesday. They give great cuddles.

fiveisanawfullybignumber thank you for your reply, I was worried I had overwhelmed you with all my websites!

I wonder if Counselling at some point would probably be helpful. Nothing will really answer all the questions and remove the sadness but maybe some things will help her to cope a bit, in time. It is very early days.

My heart goes out to you both.

God Bless and I hope you will find some strength to pass on to her.

Helen

I think it would, but she has the inquest to get through first. She has good legal support and apparently an open and shut case, wich means she will get some kind of justice, but never what she wants which is her precious baby girl back. You're so kind, thank you. Odette.x

Here's hoping that she will get justice, Odette. And at least she may be able to feel that whatever happened to her will not happen again.

All the best.

Helen