Sorry but anyone around to lend an ear while I tell you about my dying dad?

[bibbitybobbityhat]

?

I am lucky to have got to my age (nearly 50) and not to have had to deal with bereavement any closer to me than grandparents. No siblings, no parents, no peers, no younger relatives. I know it all makes sense in the great scheme of things and maybe I will even learn and grow from it. I keep wanting to say to my stepmother "look, he's 81 and has been healthy all his life apart from the last six months, that's good ..."

Would we all be less upset if he was 91?

and would have been more upset if he was 71?

Bibbity, I am so sorry this is happening to you.

Nope, you would be as upset regardless of his age as he is your father. It makes no difference as when their time is close you always want a little bit more.

Thank you Eggy my lovely.

His age is not important.
Who he is and who he was to you was important, even if he wasn't the best Dad to you he could have been.
All you can do is concemtrate on the nice person he is, and the part of himthat made you the nice person you are. ( just guessing from your posts:))
A first real bereavement is hard, as with all things, harder for those close to the person, rather than for the person actually going through with it

You are all v lovely.

Guess what ds chose for a bed time story tonight?

Mr Happy!

Oooch! as if you hadn't enough to deal with!

I'm sorry to hear about your dad bibbity . Death is always hard. No matter how prepared you are, it's always hard and it's always sudden.

I'm very sorry.

Just go. Don't over think it. Don't think about the what could have beens/what should have beens/what might be - you're living very much in the present at the moment.

Bibbity - (once again) I'm sorry to hear about your Dad :(

When will you be able to go and see him? Can you stay a few days?

I think if he says anything about not having been a good Dad to you, you shouldn't disagree with him - don't lie about how you feel, not even now. Why not just acknowledge it to be the truth and thank him for realising that too, if you forgive him tell him so, but don't say it if you don't mean it.

Think about what you need to say to him or ask him - stay as long as you can, talk as much as you can.

I think no matter how old someone is you always want that bit (or a lot!) longer with them here - it's human nature.

x
PS: I hope you even up the balance with the Budgie xxx

Bibbity I am popping over from my silly thread to tell you how sorry I am that you are having to cope with this terrible thing.

I wish you the strength you need and send you love.

x

I am sorry that you have to go through this.As others have said ,it makes no difference how old someone is ,the grief can be just as painful.It would be so nice if you and your dad could have a decent chat and maybe if he is up to it and you feel like it,manage to sort things that have bothered you.I hope you can visit him soon.

Bibbity, sorry to hear it is all happening so fast.
If lots of others are visiting, it may not feel so much like it's the end to him. Or on the other hand, he may be hoping to see you so that he can make amends.
Good luck - I'm sure you will feel "better" for seeing him.

Sorry this is happening Bibbity.

I can very much relate to a Dad not having been up to much as a Dad (although mine is still relatively young) but it doesn't make it any easier I guess.

Hope that your visit gives you both a sense of peace. x

Lots of love Bibbers xxx