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Bereavement

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Advice on helping my dd get thorough the burial of her friend who died this week

5 replies

cybboid · 16/04/2011 12:05

Her poor friend died after battling with leukemia for the past year.

She is being buried next week, my D is 15 (same age as friend) and has never been to any kind of funeral before.

The mother of the girl who died wanted my D to say a few words about her friend but D doesnt think she is up to this, but the Mum said writing something down would be fine

Has anyone else had to help their child with the loss of a good friend?

OP posts:
FAB5 · 16/04/2011 12:16

No experience, thankfully though mine have lost Grandparents, but my honest opinion is that it would be too much for a 5 year old to speak at a funeral and I think the mother was wrong to ask - though obviously grief is probably part of this.

LisaD1 · 16/04/2011 12:23

I was older than your DD when we lost an amazing friend, she had an epileptic fit and choked, very sudden, we were 17.

None of us were emotionally strong enough to speak at the funeral alone but we did write notes that her mum read out and then put in her grave afterwards, could your DD do something like that? So she gets to say the things she wanted to but doesn't actually have to "say" them?

Sorry for your DD's loss.

crystalglasses · 16/04/2011 12:34

Could she write something for the bereaved mother to read out on her behalf? Or read out a very short poem? Funerals are not always the ordeals that they are made out to be.

cybboid · 16/04/2011 13:16

Fab she is 15, not 5. But I believe she is still too young to read something out, I would struggle with it as an adult.

I dont think it has sunk in for her yet , she hadn't seen her friend for a few months as she was too susceptible to infections. But I think the reality of a burial will be very hard for all of them

OP posts:
FAB5 · 16/04/2011 13:22

Oh I am sorry. I missed the 1 off the 15.

I think it has to be up to you and your dd tbh to decide.

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