would a gift seem weird in this situation?

[flyingspaghettimonster]

Hi,

A few months ago one of the regular gamers at the store my husband goes to died during his police training. He left behind a pregnant wife :-( Although I didn't know her, I really felt for her and I know the guy was really nice and was well liked among the guys he played games with... but they are guys, and probably didn't do anything to show their feelings. Now, I make baby gifts like diaper cakes and baby gift baskets as a hobby (there's no money in it unless you use cheap products, and I like to make really fancy ones with nice baby clothes, minky blankets etc).

I was wondering - would it be considered nice if I made up a gift basket for the game store to give to her to show their affection for her lost husband, or would it be plain weird and just bring up more memories? I can only imagine how lonely she must feel as the due date approaches without her husband there :-(

If I do make the basket up for her, what would we put on the tag or card? Should I ask the gamers to each write a nice memory of the man, starting with 'Your Daddy was a great friend...' etc? I could put them into a sort of scrapbook so she could give it to the child when she is old enough to ask questions...

Or should I do nothing, as I do not know the woman... I just wanted her to know that the men who were friends with her husband all thought a lot about him, I have heard how they speak of him and thought she might like to know...

fly...i think that is really considerate and kind of you but i believe you should send it from yourself as it is such a lovely gesture...

i would also ask the gamers (through your dh of course) to maybe get something for the baby , maybe all chip in for a canvas of the man etc..

the scrapbook idea is stunning but why not do that yourself with the quotes etc and maybe give it to the girl in a few months time...as now and after the birth will be a very traumatic time for her, she will be feeling life without her partner....her grief will be raw

all i can say is reiterate again what a kind, sincere and considerate lady you are:)

I second doormat's post - the baby gift basket is a great idea, and so is the scrapbook. And you sound lovely.

To know that people liked her dh and still think of him will be of comfort, months after people seem to forget that people are still dealing with the loss.

Remember the worst has already happened.......you can not make the situation any worse. It is an incredibly thoughtful gesture and I am sure the gift will offer some comfort to the lady. She will be touched I am sure to think that people are thinking of her ;)

I think they are lovely thoughts.

me too, sounds like a beautiful idea. and you sound lovely for thinking of her

oh, I couldn't give from myself - I have never met her! That's why I am worried it is weird. I just thought the guys could give it - you know how they never think of nice things to do and need a nudge... but glad you think she will not be offended. Thanks for the input... I have a lovely basket ready-made up so I will drop it round to the store later and ask them about the scrap book idea...

It sounds like a perfect idea, especially the book of memories. I was widowed while pregnant with DD2 (DD1 was 2.5) and this sort of thing will be increasingly important as they get older.

As for not having met her, I received some incredibly moving letters and gifts from people who had never met me. I was very, very touched by them.