Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Flip

Original poster

Dreaming about dead loved ones......

22 replies

DrNortherner · 28/03/2011 21:36

Dad died nearly 2 years ago, I have had a few dreams about him, the most recent one being last night.

In my dreams we are always at my parents house (my childhood home)and I always know he is dead IYSWIM. I know we chat, and he gives me advice and then we hug but when I wake I have no idea what we talked about. All I know is he was there, and I held him.

It comforts me and saddens me at the same time.

Mind playing tricks or do you really believe they visit us in our dreams?

OP posts:

25goingon95 · 28/03/2011 21:48

I will be watching with interest, i have dreams like this about my dad, i always know he is dead too.

It comforts me, i like to think he is visiting me in my dreams.

leplan · 28/03/2011 21:50

I have dreams like this about my parents all the time.

In one of them I remarked to my Dad how well he looked considering he was dead :o

They always make me feel better.

cheesesarnie · 28/03/2011 21:56

i have dreams about my step mum.in my dream everyone tells me shes not really dead and that its a trick,they laugh.in my last one my dad gave me suicide notes to hand out,i ran after him and found him in a room with my step mother and they laughed and said they were testing me.when she first died i got these dreams alot-i was having to rely on sleeping tablets to knock me out as i was scared to sleep.then they started again when my dad tried to take his life.then again last month for no apparent reason.

so mine arent comforting!

trumpton · 28/03/2011 22:06

I dreamed I visited my Mum and said " Oh Mum, they said you were dead!" and she looked at me and said "Oh they DO exagerate, darling" I woke myself up laughing. So like her

cheesesarnie · 28/03/2011 22:09

trumpton

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 29/03/2011 10:11

My mum died 7 months ago from cancer and I have dreamt about her a handful of times and each time she looks ill and is always dying whcih apparently is because I am angry about her being taken away from me.

About a month ago I had gone to bed quite upset over her and in the morning I was dreaming...in that dream I had a dream and all of a sudden she appeared...she drifted up to me (looking healthy and beautiful, same as she always had when she was well), gave ma a cuddle and said something like "hello darling" and then drifted away. It was very quick, maybe a second or two and I really believe that it wasnt a dream, i think she came to me to let me know she was ok.

It was a very strange experience, I cant really explain it, it was just so very different to the dreams I have of her...........

Original poster

DrNortherner · 29/03/2011 11:16

I am very cynical and not religious, and before experiencing bereavement I would have said this was juts a dream, but now, I am wondering if our loved ones do communicate with us when we sleep. I read something taht says our loved ones continue to love us and care about our lives, even though they no longer have a body.

It is comforting to think that they are still around in some shape or form. The alternative, that we will never see them ever again is simply too hard to bear.

Must add, my Mum has never dreamt of him, she gets quite jealous I do.

OP posts:

Milngavie · 29/03/2011 11:21

My Dad died almost 12 years ago. Since then I have had a handful of dreams about him.

To begin with he would never look at me, I was always chasing him and he wouldn't turn around. Eventually we were sitting together on a beach, not talking, just sitting. It was very peaceful.

In the last dream I went to his house, opened the front door and met him crossing his hallway. He turned to me with a huge smile and told me he was happy I had come, he even shouted to my Gran (who died 10 years ago) to tell her I was there. I woke up crying as it was the first dream where he'd both looked at me and spoke.

I took great comfort from the final dream but the ones where I had to chase him were awful, he was always just out of sight.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 29/03/2011 22:29

I sometimes dream about DD. I love to dream about her and wish I did more often. Its very hard because she is always ill in my dreams and I know she is going to die. She knows too. Its almost like going through it again.
But I get to see her and I get to see her beautiful smile and its worth the pain just for that.

Idontknowhowtohelpher · 29/03/2011 23:00

It is nearly seven years since my mum died. I dream of her almost every week. It is always in the present and she is alive. We make plans and talk about the children growing up. Then I wake up and remember that she is dead.

I told my dad about this quite recently. He said how lucky I was. In his dreams he can never find her.

aStarWithHerOwnWays · 29/03/2011 23:08

I don't dream about my mum or my brother. Well, I had one dream about my mum, many years ago: she was just sitting on the sheepskin rug in our living room, drinking a cup of tea, and the room was as it used to be when she was alive. That was very peaceful and I set great store by it at the time. Sadly my feelings have changed a lot since then and I don't feel peaceful about her death now.

Like MrsDeVere , on the few occasions I've dreamed of my brother he has always been ill and we've both known he is going to die. There was nothing happy about it other than talking with him again. In the last one he was tense and bitter; I can't say I blame him.

No doubt this does reflect my unresolved feelings about both deaths. If I ever make peace, I wonder if I'll dream about them more?

AimingForSerenity · 29/03/2011 23:12

It is so weird seeing this thread today.

My Dad died almost 8 years ago and I sometimes still feel that he is around.

I dreamt of him last week the day before we held my Mum's 80th birthday party, 2 days later i saw something orange in the garden and found it was his golf club pass off his golf bag, no idea how it got there. Then today DD who is 20 and at uni rang up to say that for 3 nights she has had really vivid dreams of him in which she is the age she is now but they are together and talk because they know he is going to die and leave us.

I wonder if he is around because all the family have been together to celebrate the big birthday.

weegiemum · 29/03/2011 23:13

A few weeks ago I had a really vivid dream about my Gran who died 4 years ago.

We were sitting in her living room having a cup of tea and just chatting - it was SO real.

I woke up and genuinely thought "How nice to see Gran ......... oh!"

The feeling stayed with me for days.

I'm a Christian and don't really think that the dead we have lost can visit us. However, I think this dream was a gift, time to remember her in the best and lovliest possible way for me.

chipmonkey · 29/03/2011 23:33

I had a dream a few nights ago where my Mum ( who is very much alive!) told me that she had been speaking to Dad and that he was arranging to get some money to me. However, in the dream, I felt he wasn't dead and then got myself all worked up about why I hadn't spoken to him in so long and why I didn't even have a phone number for him!

karyncake · 31/03/2011 21:25

I have very similar dreams about my little sister. She was 20 when she was taken from us.
It always seems a bit hazy and there is the feeling that there is so much we both need to say yet at the same time there is nothing to say.
I always wake up feeling really drained too.

everlong · 31/03/2011 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vev · 31/03/2011 21:56

I believe when we meet our loved ones in dreams they are really visiting us.

My gran died 25 years ago and I still miss her to this day. I've had about three dreams of her which were so vivid and felt so real and I've woke up in tears but happy. In one of these dreams I begged her to come home with me and she told me she couldn't, I told her I would hide her and not tell anyone! I didn't dream of her again - think I ruined it by getting so upset with her.

Then when I was being treated for acute leukaemia feeling very poorly whilst still in hospital in isolation I felt so ill I asked if anyone "up there" could do anything to help me feel better please do so or let me go. Anyway, I recovered and a few months later in a dream I dreamt I was sat on the step at my front door which looks sideways onto the street and a neighbour was walking past and said hello, as I turned to say hello back, my grandma was stood on the path, I got up and we hugged and she said "I was with you helping you".

everlong · 31/03/2011 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 31/03/2011 22:34

everlong, I know that feeling. A dream about DD can sustain me for ages. Its like getting a bit of time with them. Its strange how she is on my mind all the time but I hardly ever dream about her.

peeriebear · 31/03/2011 22:38

That is lovely Vev.
My friend died last year and he pops up in my dreams about once a month. Sometimes he's had a haircut and new clothes, other times he looks just as he did. It's nice to see him, it's so weird that he's there, in the flesh and talking to me, when he's not here any more.

sphil · 31/03/2011 22:38

My Mum died 10 months ago and I've dreamt about her 4 times since then. in the last one she was sitting in our living room and I was sitting in a chair a few feet away. the dream was so vivid -every physical detail, the sound of her voice, her mannerisms were exactly as she was in life. I knew she was dead and I didn't dare move, or blink or speak, in case she vanished. but she didn't, and I woke up feeling so comforted. One of the saddest things for me is how difficult I find it to ' conjure her up ' in my waking hours even though her death was so recent, we saw each other all the time and were very close.
So this dream was lovely.
I'd love to think she was visiting me - I do sometimes talk to her in my head and feel as if she's replying.

sh77 · 01/04/2011 18:52

vev truly beautiful dream.

Flip