I'm caught between a rock and a hard place and don't really know what to do....

[RememberToPlaywiththeKids]

My mum is 66 and has bone cancer. She has had an awful chest infection for the past month and reacted badly to the chemo and had to stop. She was in hospital for just over 2 weeks and discharged on Friday. She has been feeling so awful all weekend and can't move because she is so weak and vomits if she does and feels horribly nauseous and frightened that this is the end, as have we all.

I have been told that I shouldn't visit her as i have a 6 week old baby with a heart defect that is due to be operated on when he's about 3 months old. If he gets a respiratory inefection it could make him very unwell and result in him being admitted and put on assisted breathing and the surgery being brought forward.

The Drs are all very clear that she should be clear of infection before he coomes in to contact with her again and that me seeing her is also a risk as i could pass something on to my baby. Mum is stressed about not wanting to pass anything on to him but depserately wants to see me because she doesn't think she has much time left and has also been told the infection may never go.

My other son has just developed a fever today and no doubt my daughter will get it next and then what about the baby?

So where does this actually leave me in terms of seeing my mum again? I think i can live with it if the worst happens and I had to keep away for good reason but I am feeling very tramatised by it all and I couldn't bear it if it transpired that it would have been ok for me to see her without the baby.

What would you do?

I would see her. Probably have the hottest shower in the world and burn my clothes when I got home. Is she at home or hospital? Once when I was a kid could only see people through glass at hospital apart from my parents But I am sure you'd want to hug her. I'd have to see her. I am not especially close to my mother either. Though I'd really get it if you didn't go.

Poor you. Write a list of pro's and cons. Then look at it tomorrow morning and it just might come clear. Good luck, sending illegal MN hugs.

I would go and see her too. Then take every precaution you can think of, like Pancake says.

Fingers crossed for you all.

It would be nice to have a crystal ball to know whether I would in fact pass anything on to my baby....which would be unimagineably hard to live with.

This is so hard.

It's painfully hard and there is no right or wrong. It is more likely ( though still not a cert) your little one will catch bugs from your other kids than your mother if it's only you seeing her and him not going. But could you at some point take him to wave through the window ( ok too long to wave but you know what I mean). Oh and take that anti-viral hand gel/foam if you do go. Goodness knows if it works but you'll feel better using it.

Like everyone one else has said go and wash hands etc after...I am sure the chances are you won't pick up anything as you have a strong immune system! Lots of love to you xxxx

I mean too young to wave not too long. Fffing predictive text malarky.