Advice on sending card to friend who has lost baby

[LiegeAndLief]

My friend very sadly lost her newborn baby at only a day old last week. I would like to send a card but have no idea if this is the right thing to do or of what to say and would really appreciate some advice.

She is not a very close friend, but we have worked together for years, used to go out in the same group before we had kids and have chatted about her pg, our dc etc quite a bit. In happier circumstances I would probably have just sent a congratulatory e-mail, but an e-mail seems a bit wrong for this, and to send nothing at all seems like I have just not acknowledged her poor little baby at all. We haven't seen each other outside work for years so it is very unlikely that I will see her in person to offer condolences soon.

Find a pretty card and simply say that you are thinking of her.

Do send a card, it will be appreciated, sympathy cards can be difficult, if you don't find one you like just send a blank one.
Don't worry about what to say, saying anything is better than saying nothing.

Please do send a card - like others have suggested just write that you haven't got much to say but that you're thinking of them. The silence can be deafening when something like this happens so getting in touch is the right thing. Also maybe send another cards in a month or 3 to let her know you're still thinking of her - it's shocking how soon 'life as normal' carries on.

I would second what 'madmouse' has said. My DS only lived for an hour. Cards were a lovely, non-intrusive way for people to let us know that they cared. And another 3 months later (from my POV) would be particularly welcome as at that point it seems that everyone else has forgotten or thinks you are getting over it. Knowing that someone, somewhere is still thinking of you AND CARES is still helpful.

Thanks very much for your advice, I am so sorry for those of you who have lost your own dc, I can't imagine how heart-breaking it must be. Out to buy a card today.

It happened to a friend of a friend of mine when I was pregnant two years ago. Their baby died the same day she was born. I didn't know her that well but the fact that I even knew someone this had happened to knocked me for six.
I sent a blank card and just wrote that I was so sorry and I just couldn't believe that this had happened to them and that I was thinking of them. I have sent a card on both the anniversaries now, just saying still thinking of them and mentioning the baby's name. They now have another baby and I know it doesn't replace the other one at all but I know that they do have happiness in their lives now. They did appreciate the cards I sent because she got in touch and told me, which I really appreciated because I was quite scared to send a card initially but I just couldn't not.
I'm so sorry that there are so many people that this happens to, it is so awful. I hope you sent it and wrote from the heart, I know your friend will appreciate it.