my dad has had a progressive muscle wasting disease for the last 15 months; it hasn't been diagnosed but it's presenting very much like motor neurone disease without the deterioration of his throat muscles. We're not hopeful of a diagnosis now so we won't know what caused it but it's clear that dad is approaching the last stages now.
He's in a nursing home, very little mobility at all, losing strength in his chest and torso, so finding it hard to stay seated in his wheelchair, constantly battling with chest infections. Up until a week or so ago he could still operate his elec wheelchair and operate the remote control on his tv but this is now proving impossible. These things were his last efforts at independence and he is understandably very low. Mentally he is completely compus mentus and it is absolutely awful seeing this capable, positive and upbeat man slipping away in such a way. He brought my brother and me up on his own when mum died and he has been an inspiration.
We knew this stage would come but it's heartbreaking to see him having to accept that he can no longer do anything for himself. He's very tired and losing his spirit now. We've been told that the chest infections will probably be what kills him; it all depends now how much fight he has left.
I'm off work today, can't face anyone and need to spend the morning crying or I think I'll lose it completely. He's always been so positive and has never once complained about this terrible condition. It's awful.