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My grandma died this morning

5 replies

LisMcA · 21/03/2011 07:48

She was 81.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and live 120 miles from home.

She was ill. About 4 years ago she fell and broke her hip. After that she lost her independnce completely. Wouldn't go out on her own at all, even though she was strong enough. She was scared to. Then over the years she slowly got weaker and weaker. Her legs were wasting away because she wasn't using them. She then started to get confused at things. Asking where her mum was, and thinking her daughters, my mum included, were her sisters. She first went into hospital in october last year.

She thought the hospital was Marks and Spencer, where she worked years ago when my mum was a girl and the nurses worked in the stock room. We laughed at the time because she was adamant that is where she was.

She got better over Christmas, was quite lucid, only with the odd reference to M&S. She would joke with me about having the baby that by the time she had my mums youngest sister (4th) all she had to do was cough and she was born :).

They diagnosed dementia at the beginning of March and were looking at getting her and my grandad into sheltered housing. She had a nasty fall out of bed when my grandad had left her, just for 5 minutes to do something outside. Over night on Tuesday in hospital she had a stroke, but that still didn't see her off. She was tough as old boots my grandma. We thought that was it, but the next day she was sitting up in bed chatting away, a bit slurred, but was making the most sense she had in ages. But sadly this morning at 3am she left us.

I'm sorry if this isn't the place to post all this, but I just wanted to write something down.

My mum is so upset I can't speak to her on the phone. My hormones are all over the place I can't really string a sentence together without sobbing. I don't really know what to do. What I want to do is get home to my mum as soon as possible, but I can't drive the 2 hours there on my own. DH has gone to work, there is nothing he can do just now, so I'm just on my own. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
PinkWinged · 21/03/2011 08:01

Lis, I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandma. It's awful when you loose someone but she reached a good age and it sounds like she had a brilliant life and a great family so don't grieve too hard.
Now you have to celebrate her life and the life YOU are about to bring into the world.
Could you take a taxi and a train to get to your Mum?
You could ring Cruise or Samaritans if you have no one in RL to talk to.
Look after yourself and your baby.

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 21/03/2011 08:02

Lis, so sorry for your loss.

Do you have a friend near by who can come round?

It's rotten being so far away from your family at times like this, I'm 3 hours away from mine, and was in the same situation 3 years ago when my Little Nan died.

Big {{hugs}}.

MmeLindt · 21/03/2011 08:04

So sorry to hear about your gran. Your description of her makes me think that she was a fab woman who had a loving family.

Is there anyone who can drive you to your Mum? Or can you get a train?

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 21/03/2011 08:07

Lis - I am so sorry to hear about your Nan :( My Nana died many years ago and I still really really miss her - there's something about that unconditional love from a grandparent that makes it very special. You are lucky to have had her until you are an adult though and she does, indeed, sound as tough as an old boot :) Your poor Grandad is going to feel so lost :(

Can you get a train to your Mums?

xx

LisMcA · 21/03/2011 08:19

Thank you all

Thats what I've been thinking about, getting the train up. My brain is still trying to process everything.

My mum has gone to get some sleep as she's been at the hospital all night. I'll speak to her when she gets up. She told DH to not let me do anything silly. I think she thought I'd try to drive myself up. I have a stubborn streak.

Going to try to get some sleep myself was up half the night really restless.

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