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Original poster

Just Found Out FIL Has Lung Cancer and more

17 replies

maxybrown · 11/03/2011 20:13

apologies if wrong place but don't know where to post and no one really to talk to. DH over there (they live about and hour and a half from us) waiting for an ambulance to bring him home and i'm feeling totally useless at home with DS and the dog - just feel I should be doing something even though there's nothing I can do atm.

so, he's gone frm a bit achy to can't eat bread, to having dizzy spells and a bit forgetful, to not wanting to get out of bed, t not eating at all, having a cough, coughing up blood.............into hospital last week, found a mass on lungs, today told nothing they can do so being sent him with oxygen tonight in ambulance. they are just waiting for him now.

I sent DH a text asking if macmillan had been orgnaised at all and he said to be honest he doesn't think enough time to sort anything out - he spoke t doc on his own away from his Mum and doc said 2 - 8 weeks Sad

I don't even know what I'm doing on here either, I feel a bit pathetic and a bit lost tbh, just wish i was there and wish i could help

OP posts:
5inthebed · 11/03/2011 20:29

Oh Maxy, I am so sorry to hear this.

Getting him home will probably be a good thing, and the Macmillan nurses will help with his pain medication and keeping him comfortable.

There is nothing you can really do while you are there, but try not to worry about that. Is there anyone who can watch the dog for you so you and J can get there?

My own FIL died nearly 3 years ago of oesophagus cancer which had spread to toher places. He never made it home although we were trying to get him there. He died the day before he was meant to come home.

Original poster
maxybrown · 11/03/2011 20:40

Oh Hi 5in, a friendly face thank goodness thank you!

Well no one mentioned macmillan to them - only me mentioning it to DH - I am going to look into it myself. He just sent me a text - he is fuming as they've now said they can't sort ambulance out to get him home with oxygen so DH got min oxygen tank and going to get him himself!

I don't think his Mum knows it is only 2/8 weeks

no got no one to have dog really. We were all meant to be going over this weekend but DH coming home at weekend then his brother coming over from France mid week and it is his dad's birthday on sat - so guessing we will all go for that. Might have to look into dog though. Hmm.

OP posts:
5inthebed · 11/03/2011 21:25

Oh right, missed the bit where you had asked about it.

Hospital should sort Macmillan nurse out, or point your DH in the right direction.

Why isn't hospital helping with moving him?

Not to make you panic or feel worse, but when we were told FIl had up to 6 weeks, he died within 2 days :( . I just hope your DH manages to get him home.

RE dog, try posting on here in dog house and ask if there are any MN'ers willing to have him, or if they know of any dog foster carers who would take him in until you get back.

HolyMolars · 11/03/2011 22:27

So sorry to read this news. As a recently berieved daughter (whose mum died last month at home but not as she would have wanted!), my advice is to make sure the prescriptions are all in place and all the home health care people know what is needed in terms of pain and nausea control and are available to give it, as soon as it is required, and nursing. Marie Curie nurses might also be able to assist in the final nights when family need help.

I would help with dog but am probably miles away. best wishes to you though.

Original poster
maxybrown · 11/03/2011 22:49

Thanks both Smile

5in I will be surprised if he lasts very long - just hope we get to see him and that BIL gets here before then too.

Not sure what is going on with the hospital Hmm

I had thought about asking in doghouse just in case.

Thanks Holy, that is very kind Smile

OP posts:
LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 11/03/2011 23:17

I'm so sorry to hear about your fil. My dad passed away at home at the end of nov. We had a local cancer charity called LOROS so worth checking who covers that area, itwas done through the gp I think.

With the oxgyen tanks, make sure they order more often than they think they need, as you have to order one day for delivery the next and they didn't do weekends in our area. Make sure he uses as much as he wants, my dad tried to ration god knows why!

Advice from a friend was that once they have started to lose a great deal of weight it is the beginning of the end. I know this isn't true in all cases but was in my dads.

Make sure he does not accept being in pain, if needed do not letil be afraid of going over his head and speaking to docs etc.

I'll be thinking of you all x

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 11/03/2011 23:20

let mil

also has a hospital bed been arranged will he have to go upstairs? Will he need a commode? Does he need meal replacent like 40 sips?

Original poster
maxybrown · 11/03/2011 23:36

I have no idea lovebing - have not ased all these questions over the phone as DH understandbly taking it all in and not feeling much like chatting on phone - that is why I feel so helpless. I am thinking he is upsatirs in his own bed for now but obviosuly that can't last, their stairs are steep too Confused

I am hoping DH is thinking as best he can as reckon his mum will be all over the shop as can be twitchy at best of times!

I didn't expect him to come hom tbh - my Uncle died almost 2 years ago of very sim cancer and he went fmr hospital straight to hospice.

Think he managed to eat a little evntually in hospital but pprior to him going in he hadn't eaten for ages. he is overweight so would really notice when he starts to lose weight. I haven't seen him at all yet since Christmas.

Thanks for replying, I can't stop thinking about it

OP posts:
LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 11/03/2011 23:59

Sorry that stuff kind of tumbled out. Just bear it in mind.

My dad was the same, couldn't get him to eat hardly anything and as soon as in hospital he ate loads Confused

we ended up having to secure dad to a dining room chair and carry him down, defo not fun.

Wish I could do something to help, it's horrible.

Original poster
maxybrown · 12/03/2011 00:04

It's ok, I appreciate it Smile

well he can't really eat properly as the mass is pushing against his osophegous (I think - forgive me I am pieceing togther what DH has told me in bits!)

and we only have it from his Mum that he had started to eat in hospital - but she also tld us that he is fone now and all well - hmmm!

OP posts:
Original poster
maxybrown · 12/03/2011 00:04

sorry tired spelling is terrible!

OP posts:
LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 12/03/2011 00:29

Bless her trying to stop you from worrying no doubt.

5inthebed · 12/03/2011 14:34

:( Maxy

How are things today? Any more news from the hospital about getting him home?

Original poster
maxybrown · 13/03/2011 08:07

Hi 5in - they managed to get him home at 10pm Shock

DH coming home today, think he is finding it hard there. Guess I will know whole story once he gets home

OP posts:
5inthebed · 13/03/2011 09:14

10pm Shock. What time is that to let someone out of hospital!

Glad they have managed to get him home though.

Original poster
maxybrown · 13/03/2011 09:56

I know, DH was NOT happy!

OP posts:
LoveBeingKnockedUp · 13/03/2011 22:14

I guess fil will have just wanted to get back. Hope he is comfortable.

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