frightened

[stingray]

i had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks in jan 05.it has taken 8 months to get pregnant ,i have just found out that i am 5 weeks pregnant.although i am thrilled to bits to be pregnant again, i am terrified at the prospect as well.i cant stop thinking that this pregnancy might end the same way.i feel that this is my last chance as i am 42 and i know that i cant go through all this stress again.does everybody that has been through the loss of a baby spend the next pregnancy terrified? when i got pregnant with my daughters i told everyone that i came into contact with, but this time all the pleasure is gone because i am frightened to tell in case it is bad luck, although as an intelligent human being i know this is rubbish.i just want to be calm about this longed for baby,but the undercurrent of fear is driving me mad.

hi stingray. iam 35 and have hd 2 mcs, 1 baby, then 3 mcs and 1 baby. i had bleeding every single time i was pg too. the waiting for an early scan was hell but a sympathetic gp arranged for me to have a scan at 6 and 8 weeks rather than wait til 12 for first scan. wishing you lots of love and support at a tough time for you. there should/may be a heartbeat detectable at a 6 week scan

sorry can't help much stingray as i haven't had the same experience, but i was terrified throught my pregnancy nonetheless! something my dp used to say helped - "trust your body, trust the baby, if it is ok it will be fine, if it goes wrong it's because it's not right and it's for the best". complete and utter platitude but it used to calm me down. hope it helps a bit - apologies if not!

Oh, stingray, it's a weird time isn't it? Congratulations on being pg

I know the feeling very well, but there is really nothing you can do except try and relax and (cliche alert) take each day as it comes. Easier said than done, of course!

stingray I have no experience of this but I am sure that you can receive counselling to help you deal with your feelings about this pregnancy through your GP/midwife, although I think it varies depending on which region you are in. Hopefully someone else with more knowledge will come on here soon - in the meantime - congratulations on getting pregnant.

Been there (though my m/cs were v. early). Might this thread help?

First off - congratulations on your pregnancy.

I had a missed mc at 16.5 weeks in January, I fell pregnant again very quickly afterwards and have spent most of this pregnancy absolutly terrified of what will happen.

I'm now nearly 34 weeks and starting to relax and look forward to the arrival of my new baby - although there are still a few little fears at the back of my mind.

My main advice to you is to try and not get too stressed out. Of course your going to worry and that is perfectly natural - don't try and make your fears dissapear because after what you have been through that will not happen.

Lean on your mw, doctor, consultant etc etc etc it's what they are there for and they totally understand your concerns. My mw often makes comments now about how I constantly called her during the first half of my pregnancy and how much more relaxed I am now.

You'll get to a phase where you decide it's OK for you to relax a bit. Sorry I can't be more positive - there is a thread on here for people expecting after a m/c. It's on the ante natal board.

Good luck and best wishes for your pregnancy!

Stingray, I'm glad I found your post because I am feeling exactly the same way. I'm not pg, but had a missed m/c four weeks ago (at 16 weeks) and am terrified of getting pg again. It's good to know you are strong enough to get pg, very reassuring for me. Congrats on the fab news, I sincerely hope this pg goes well for you and totally understand the way you're feeling about telling people or getting excited because of "bad luck" etc, but they are natural emotions and fears , which I am sure will fade away soon.
Don't give in to the fear, accept it's going to be there for a while and think good things. Easy for me to say, I know I'll be the same when I get pg again.

I hope things are feeling more positive for you already.
x