complaint letter response from hospital - long and sweary soz:(

[slinkstah]

i just got a response from my complaint letter from the hospital where i was treated badly throughout my antenatal care, my stay at the antenatal ward and the birth of my stillborn baby.

i just need to vent some anger - they have admitted blame for some things but the rest they have tried to worm out of! fucking bastards the lot of em! how can they get away with ruining my whole life and fucking sending me a 2 page letter saying "oops sorry get over it"
my notes are full of lies the midwifes wrote down bolloxs, like all my antebiotics were given on or near the time they should have been- total crap, i had to remind them all the time and then they spoke to me like shit saying antebiotics won't save your baby! they say if they weren't its because perscription changed- i am not stupid i knew what i was suppose to have and when and i can count every 4 hours! and there was no mention of the drip being left connected for hours and hours ofen over night empty!
they say they gave me something to prevent premature delivery- total bollox, i begged them to give me something and they refused everytime!
I complained about my antenatal care saying that 2 appointments was not enough in a 23 week pregnancy - they say this is normal for WOMEN ON SHARED CARE!!! thats the fucking stupid thing i wasn't on shared care!!! i had 2 appointments all pregnancy.
they also say my plan was to see my gp at 26,34,38,40 weeks but the actual plan was to go to their midwifes clinic!!!

i went to my last antenatal appointment feeling unwell and i told every midwife i could - i even asked them to check my iron levels and remarked i could barely walk up the stairs i was that ill. they tested my urine and blood pressure said alls well and thought piss off im too busy to give a shit! 3 days later i give birth 3 months early!

the midwife who delivered the baby did not even catch my baby! she came in at last minute i had never met her before and she didn't even speak fluent english- not even near fluent as i could barely understand a word! there is no mention of this in my letter!

this is really only the tip of the iceberg

the end of the letter says blah blah sorry for your loss etc with your next pregnancy miss smith would like to help you with a supportive pregnancy and labour plan!!!

i can't even drive past the hospital without having a panic attack, does she really think i would go anywhere near there in my next pregnancy! they should have given me a supportive antenatal plan in the first place then when i went feeling really unwell they might have given a dam and found out i was in labour 3 days before it was obvious to the world, my baby would have had more chance.

I have recently found out i am pregnant - i am almost 5 weeks so its early days. i am so scared of it all happening again but the biggest fear is going to hospital, i just don't think i can do it.

i have been thinking about where to book in for care during this pregnancy and had almost decided to go to the other hospital near me but after this letter everything is fresh in my head and i am so angry. i am not going to book in to any hospital, i am not going to my gp (shes a stupid cow too), i will test my blood pressure and urine weekly myself and will buy a doppler to check later on. i will pay for cervical scans at a private hospital (i might have incompetent cervix)
i will take a chance on the antebodies thing as im rhesus neg. i think i would rather take my chances and do it all alone. i think its probably safer.

There's nothing I can say really but looking forward, would you not be better paying for an independent midwife rather than doing it yourself?

Agree SoupDragon - not sure about costs etc but someone independant to fight your corner for you if you do end up back in hospital.

Wish you all the best for your pregnancy

I work in management in a hospital (but am leaving soon - disillusioned and also want to be a full time SAHM)

Am literally astonished that they could do something so crassly insensitive as to write you a bloody letter after you lost your baby.

What they should have done was invite you to a meeting at the hospital with an Obstetrician and Senior Midwife present - chaired by the Complaints Manager - to allow you to fully discuss every aspect of this awful tragic delivery of your baby, and then minuted that meeting so that you had a record of the discussion so that you could go back and reflect on it whenever you needed to.

I have been present at similar meetings when I previously worked as a Complaints Manager, and invariably the patient found them helpful (even when the Trust had been woefully in the wrong) - because they could question and seek more clarification / explanation.

I think you should ring and request a meeting like this if you feel up to it. You would be able to take anyone you wanted with you as moral support. I realise this won't bring back your baby, but it might help you in some ways to get either the explanations you need or the admission of responsibility and liability that you want.

I'm so very sorry for your loss

What a horrible, horrible time you've had, Slinkstah, I'm so sorry. Do you have support from anyone to help you through this? The Society of Compassionate Friends support people who've lost children. National Childbirth Trust may be able to help and perhaps point you in the right direction to guide you through your current pregnancy, too. Contact them on 0870 444 8707.

I don't have any advice, but wanted to wish you all the luck in the world for you and your baby.

Hi slinkstah - just wanted to reiterate that you should ask for an appointment - a letter is just not good enough. You need to be able to discuss all the points you disagree on and get some good answers. So sorry you've received such a crappy letter - can not have helped you one bit. So insensitive.

I also agree with soupdragon - find out about an independent midwife. They will do all your antenatal care and be with you during labour and birth and post-natally too. They will be very understanding and have worked with people who have had terrible hospital experiences. They can work out expensive (thousands not hundreds) but you may feel it is worth it for your own piece of mind. And finally just wanted to say (in a small voice as you say it is early days) congratulations about your pregnancy ... x

I dont have any advice but i am so sorry to hear of your awful experience and wish you the very best with this pregnancy
x

hi everyone,
thankyou for your responses i was so angry earlier and needed to vent some.
i will probably not take it furthur with meetings and stuff as i just can't face it to tell you the truth. i am gooing to try and get on with my life and close the chapter.
i am going to look into getting an inderpendant midwife, or maybe i will book in with another hospital and just use them to do my bloods and scans etc.

All the very best slinkstah with trying to 'move on' and with your new pregnancy

Hi slinkstah. I'm so sorry to hear about the stillbirth of your baby.

You can ask the Health Care Commission (HCC) to look into this and conduct an investigation into what happened. You will need to send them a copy of the letter that you have just received and you must do this within two months of the date on the letter.

If you go to the HCC website you can download a form, it is a straightforward form to fill in and freepost to return it. It will make a difference if enough people speak out about poor care.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm sure your GP will make arrangements for alternate care for you, given the history.

So sorry to hear of the way you have been treated, and also for the loss of your baby (don't post that often so am not sure when it happened). Just to say that I lost our little boy at 21 weeks in Jan 2004 and was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix (though no-one understood why as I did not have any of the prerequisites for incompetent cervix). As you, I was petrified during my next pregnancy, but I had a cervical suture put in at 13 weeks, which held well. If you would like to talk about this, or need any info on it, I might be able to help. Congratulations on the pregnancy. I know this must be a very scary time for you.

Oh Slink,

I'm so sorry to hear your story, the hospital sound absolutely rubbish, so uncaring. It often astounds me that a profession that should be so caring, are often so stressed with too many shifts they just rush through everything. No offence to any good nurses and doctors.

Slink I would try and get some support, you can't do this pregnancy alone, you never know what will happen. I hope you find someone supportive and helpful.
Hope the pregnancy is still going well, we haven't heardf rom you much on the old thread. you know where we are.

Message withdrawn

My first birth was not nearly as horrendous as your experience and I was fortunate to have a live baby, but there was a lot of trauma and mis management involved (and a lot of neglect by a Consultant with the same name!). I had ds2 in a totally different hospital albeit NHS, and I would recommend you do so too, as it made all the difference and in fact I had a far better birth than I could imagine with wonderful mw's.

Good luck

slinststah have no advice but wishing you all the best with your pg
xxx