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Original poster

Bloody insensitvity and through MN as well

66 replies

DadInsteadofMum · 16/02/2011 15:25

Not I hasten to add by a MNer or MN towers.

Some of you may know me and my circumstances as I post here occasionally. I received this PM through MN today by somebody who must have seen a post in a different section but didn't check out where else I posted:

From: Lisa1Landmark

To: DadInsteadofMum
Subject: Documentary we're making...
Date: Wed 16-Feb-11 11:17:40
Hi There,

I hope you don't mind me messaging you on here.

I am an associate producer working with independent production company Landmark Films. We are researching a documentary for BBC1 about mums who live apart from their children. We're interested in what this means for the children and their subsequent relationships with the dads, grandparents or other family members who become their full time parent or guardian.

It is so easy to have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to mums who live apart from their children but without a doubt things are always much more complex and we're interested in what this means for everyone in the family.

We'd like to make a documentary that looks at the challenges of family life after a break up, but one that also looks at how individuals and families overcome those challenges together.

Do you support families who are going through this? Is there someone in your organisation that I could talk to about this to give me some pointers as to why this happens and, if possible, to put me in touch with people affected by this issue. I am interested in speaking with grandparents and their grandchildren whose mothers have left the home for whatever reason. Any conversations would of course be completely confidential and without commitment to take part in any filming. You can message me on here or call .

I look forward to the possibility of hearing back from you.

With many thanks and best wishes,

SHE DIDN'T LEAVE HOME SHE DIED.

Already report to MN Towers, but needed to vent thanks for listening.

OP posts:
Blatherskite · 16/02/2011 16:25

I hope you get an apology DIOM

thefirstMrsDeVere · 16/02/2011 16:32

That is really really really crap DIOM. Rubbish.

I know parents who have been contacted by production companies/the media via their children's memorial websites! Vile practice and totally out of order.

AxisofEvil · 16/02/2011 17:14

How unpleasant for you.

Blu · 16/02/2011 17:17

I think it is not acceptable for researchers, marketeers or other such groups to use the PM system for their own benefit - very bad behaviour.

Sorry you had to deal with that, DadInsteadOfMum, very distressing.

MNHQ
CatherineMumsnet · 16/02/2011 17:58

Hi there, we have emailed the person to say this kind of thing is just not on. It's breaking our Talk guidelines and can cause untold distress to our members.
We're all really sorry this has happened and for any distress its caused.

catinthehat2 · 16/02/2011 19:47

I should think from the details in the PM that the person responsible is LISA HYNES. If it's not I'm sure this post can easily be deleted.

She is not exactly wet around the ears judging by the aging of the CV.

Would be nice to think the person involved and the company whose name she is using will be writing a grovelling apology by tomorrow morning.

I am not holding my breath.

Maryz · 16/02/2011 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lisa1Landmark · 16/02/2011 21:37

Dear DIOM,
We'll look into exactly how this has happened tomorrow but let me say straightaway that we're really sorry this has ended up in your inbox. I know it wasn't sent directly from us to you but I can see how upsetting it must have been for you and I regret it.
We will investigate more tomorrow and post another message.
Landmark Films

catinthehat2 · 16/02/2011 21:49

"We"? "I"?

Hope you're going to proof read that apology.

And sign it with your name.

By the way, the PM came from "Lisa1Landmark" ie the username in the 21.37 post above.

To log into the site you need a username & password.

So unless the username & p/w are shared round the office, they are specific to one person. THat person would be the source of the PM I would hazard. And the source of this post.

So if you rush into the bathroom right now and check out the mirror over the sink, I would think you'll find the culprit pretty quickly.

NancyDrewHadaClue · 16/02/2011 21:55

Cat Grin

If you're going to lie...

DIOM - I hope you get a proper apology from someone with the balls to admit that they are an insensitive fuckwit.

catinthehat2 · 16/02/2011 21:57

"we're really sorry this has ended up in your inbox"Hmm

When you get round to doing the apology, bear in mind that there is a difference between

"I am sorry you are upset..."

and

"I am sorry I upset you..."

so do try to watch out for that one.

HTH

whomovedmychocolate · 16/02/2011 22:02

Gosh how awful for DIOM :(

What a horrible, horrible lapse in judgement. :(

LisamumtoJake · 16/02/2011 22:05

ruddy ridiculous!!! I hope you're ok! Bloody insensitivity at its best! My father died last year and im forever having mean people phone to ask to talk to him and what not when clearly if they had checked their stuff, they would know he is dead!

geordieminx · 16/02/2011 22:07

hope you are ok DIOM

shame on you Lisa

ImFab · 16/02/2011 22:07

Despicable behaviour and then to lie about it Hmm. How did it not come from you and how did you know about it if it hadn't come from your office??

Maryz · 16/02/2011 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Valpollicella · 16/02/2011 22:09

So who sent it Landmark Films? Someone must have done to have it end up in DIOM PM inbox Angry

So sorry DIOM to hear about this Sad

Valpollicella · 16/02/2011 22:10

Good post Cat

Valpollicella · 16/02/2011 22:12

And Landmark Films makes such intelligent films such as Baby Beauty Queens. Hmm

here

Original poster
DadInsteadofMum · 16/02/2011 22:32

To Lisa you didn't even bother to say sorry in your post, at least politicians say sorry when there not apologising, you couldn't even manage that.

To the rest of you thank you for all your support.

OP posts:
LisamumtoJake · 16/02/2011 22:42

well said DadInsteadofMum she doesn't even have the decency to say a proper apology!

herbietea · 16/02/2011 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear · 16/02/2011 22:47

Not only is it highly insensitive, but it makes no sense, what on earth is this:

"Do you support families who are going through this? Is there someone in your organisation that I could talk to about this to give me some pointers as to why this happens and, if possible, to put me in touch with people affected by this issue. I am interested in speaking with grandparents and their grandchildren whose mothers have left the home for whatever reason"

What organisation?

Maryz · 16/02/2011 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WillYouDoTheDangFanjo · 16/02/2011 22:53

Judging by that "apology" I would be very concerned about Landmark's information security. Are they saying that multiple people have access to their logins & passwords? Otherwise, how else could they not know how this ended up in DIOM's inbox?

I wonder how secure their files on individuals' stories are?

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