You think your ok........ then WHAM!

[gravity]

I'm sitting here, ive been thinking I am coping. I am sad at my loss. But I know I'm handling it.
then today I was getting ready, in the shower it hit me. WHAM! Today makes it 2 weeks since my Dad passed.
why all of a sudden does his existence in my life seem like a distant memory.
2 weeks has passed, and it somehow feels like it never happened?
he was the most important in my life. i dont want this fading feelng and i especially dont want it so soon.

GRAVITY - Really have no words to help, but you replied to me in my posting.

BIG HUG FOR YOU

I haven't suffered the loss of parent so I can only guess at how you're feeling, but I'd say at this early stage you're thoughts are bound to be all over the place.

It's a difficult time for you and I wish you well.

i am grieving too but somehow i don't feel i desreve to....i have hit rock bottom

I think it's sometimes the shock of realising life goes on that hits you. I don't mean that to sound heartless, it's been 2 weeks since I found out I had a missed miscarriage and somedays I get hit with a wave of guilt and sadness and shock at how normal some aspects of my life have been these last 2 weeks. I never thought I'd do enormal, every-day things again, but I have to.

Only time will ease your grief and pain, I just hope it gets better for you. x

It comes in waves. That way we can just about handle it.
Sorry you've lost your dad gravity.
All the best. x

gravity, I found for a while that I "forgot' my dad had died. I would wake up and suddenly remember, and have to go through it all over again. Or go to phone him, that sort of thing. Grieving is a very odd process. I found for me that because I live 200 miles away from my parents it was very easy to almost pretend to myself that it hadn't happened. It took a long long time before that went away. Two weeks is nothing. You are still in shock. Give it time.

tallulah,i think the distant thing makes a little sense to me.

i can pretend nothings changed. coz dad lived in my home town. 800 kms away.

anyway, thanks guys for your support - was/am just a bit down xx

My mum, died 10 years ago and sometimes even now I get that POW punch in the stomach feeling.

Last week my bf and her mum were cooing at first grandchild I just burst into tears, no warning!!!

So...I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but just to let you know, that yes the intesity of the 'pain' will fade, but never ever his existence.

Does that make sense or help in any way???

hi there. thank you. yeah it does make sense.

my mum has been gone ten years too. 28-8-1995.

my main worry is, i think i am scared that i was forgetting or memories were fading so soon.

its silly

How you feeling today gravity?

i feel really down

today i want my dad back

i want him to see our son smile and giggle

i feel so sad i cant pick up the phone and call him and tell him i love him, i cant look at him or touch him

i miss him x

but thankyou heaps for asking how i am.

how are you?

xxxx

gravity - when my nan passed away last december I was (like tallulah) always forgetting it had happened, for longer than just when i woke up. i'd got to call her or go to pop round to visit, then remember and and fall apart. You will have good and bad days, grief is tough, and youg o through stages. It will get easier and you're not fogetting, you're just distracted for a little while, then it hits you again. I know that time will ease the pain, but for you to believe that you will need to experince it.
I'm so sorry that you lost your dad. Remember to let the grief out, don't bottle it up, theres nothign wrong with crying everyday for motnhs if you need to, its your way of dealing with things.

My mum died a year ago, She and my father were always agressively indipendant and I can still remember the moment when I realised I didnt matter to them as an adult.That was a hard lesson, I had no soft place to fall.I had spent so long trying to matter. Strangely enough, my inevitable greiving a few months later has been a really freeing experience. I have an apple tree with a ribbon for her hanging in it,ablackberry bush (she loved blackberrying) and I can never see a blackbird wiyh remembering her love of them. She was a great mum for a child, and I have tapped effortlessly into that .I guess what im saying is even when life doesnt pan out with people ,it doesnt mean that their memories have to be harsh.

thankyou both of you.

especially you diddle. i dont feel so bad to have my cry.

my dad got to know my dd alot better than my ds. ds is only 5 months old. dd is 2 and 5 months old.

but its when i look at my ds i wish dad was here to see him. he'd be so proud!!!!!!

xxxxxx

I know how you are feeling Gravity.

My mum died last august exactly 2 weeks after Jessica was born. Luckily she got to see her, but I still get very down/depressed/teary on a regular basis.

I wish mum could see how Jessica has grown, and what a little character she is, and with the impending birth of number 2, im finding it increasingly hard to accept that she isnt here to see this little one.

My mum was a "maternal" mum while i was growing up, and we got on so much better once i had "grown up" and i miss her more than anything.

My dad is my lifeline now, and he dotes on Jessica enough for the both of them.

ditto exactly!

thats how i was with my dad, coz my mum has been gone for so long.

i missed having mum to turn to when my babies were born. my dad was great, but he's not mum

i took dad for granted, so so stupidly. i was always a daddy's girl.

now i have neither, it makes me want to howl!

oh gravity, my heart goes out to you honestly. I know it probably doesn't help now but at least your dad met and loved your kids even just a short time.

I'm expecting my 3rd baby any minute now (literally!!!) and my dad and my brother are both leaving the country tomorrow. OK they're coming back, but that means I'll have no family when my wee girl is born. It physically hurts that my mum isn't here.

Sorry I don't mean to whinge, but trying to say (not very well) that a least your dad cared and you've got some wonderful memories.

I would give anything to have the kind of relationship you had with your dad.

hi, dont ever apologise about whingeing. not here on this site.

i thought about that for a while you know........... (god forbid - it happens.....did you hear my brain ticking over?????)

to our friends and acquaintances and family we may apologise for whingeing, but here we come online to express ourselves, to let off steam, to not be judged

never apologise xxxxxxxxxxxx

wow !!!!!!!! good luck !!!!!!!! any minute!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxx