What does one say in a letter of condolence?

[ghosty]

We had some awful news today. My SIL's oldest and dearest friend lost her baby during childbirth . My DH and SIL have known her since they were children and she and SIL are still very close even though they now live on different sides of the atlantic. SIL is devastated as you can imagine.
Anyway, DH (typical bloke) has asked me to put some words down in a letter of condolence and I just don't know what to say Although I have met the girl several times I don't know her that well ... I know the sort of thing but I just want to get it right IYSWIM?

Also, I was thinking of sending her some web addresses for support.

Apparently the baby died through negligence of the hospital (they have admitted full responsibility) and investigations are in progress. I know that there is the SANDS site, but is there anything else as well?

Or would it be totally inappropriate of me to suggest support sites like these (and Mumsnet?)

Help I don't know what the poor girl must be going through right now ... it is her first baby and was a problem free pregnancy ...
Am going to go and hug my kids a bit more now

how awful. this has made me feel really sad..not strong enough word!
I wouldnt know where to begin. I am sure someone on here will help you. nothing you can say will make her feel differently, but it will help to know you are thinking of her.
I would send a simple card saying just that. 'We are thinking of you' then maybe in a few weeks time send another, saying you are still thinking of her and her husband and maybe these sites could help1

Oh gosty, that has made me just want to go and getDD from nursery and hug her How awfully sad.

I don't really know what to suggest, as I am awful at these type of things but I hope someone has some good suggestions for you.

Oh God that awful Ghosty.
I have a similar problem in that I need to write a letter to a friend (now living abroad) whose husband of only two years has recently died in an accident. I was also going to post here for advice as to what to say. You do feel so afraid of saying just the wrong thing, don't you?

One of my oldest friends also lost her first baby during childbirth and it was a terrible time for her. It wasn't medical negligence, just a weak blood vessel in his brain, poor mite. He was named and is still talked about in her family fifteen years on. She went on to have three more vigorously healthy children. She found Sands very comforting.

So devastating isn't it
I just can't stop thinking about it and at the same time am thinking of Mumsnetters who have experienced the same thing ... my heart goes out to you all.
DH wanted to email a letter but I do think a card would be better.
Thank you for your replies ... I am logging off in a minute but will check later