My Grandad died yesterday. Not sure what I am feeling?

[Kayzr]

My grandad died yesterday lunchtime. He was 82 and was diagnosed with cancer last summer. In July last year the doctor said 2 months, then that he wouldn't be here for xmas and then finally gave him 2 weeks last week.

I am very very upset as I loved him to pieces. I used to love going round as a child and naughtily pulled a few sick days off school as my grandparents looked after me so my mum or dad didnt have to come home from work.

But I also feel something else. Maybe relief that he is no longer suffering and ill. But and this is very selfish of me but so I'm no longer dreading my Mum ringing me, almost like I don't have to wait for him to die. As I feel like since July I have been waiting for that phonecall.

Does thaat make sense to anyone else?

So sorry to hear about your grandad Kayzr.

The mixed feelings you describe make a lot of sense. He sounds like a lovely man but it is completely understandable that you didn't want him to suffer and the waiting must have been heartwrenching for you.

I don't have any experience of cancer specifically but others will hopefully be along soon who can talk more.

I have lost all that generation now but I will always remember what my Grandma told me not long before she died.

"I am ready to see my Mother and Father and brothers and sisters now. I have done all I can do here". Perhaps your Grandad felt the same?

What she said made me feel happy in a sad sort of way. I like to think she is content and well wherever she is.

I think it can be (no is!) harder for the ones left behind.

Hope you're okay, had to post as know how you're feeling. My nan passed away this week, she was nearing 100 and had been frail and poorly for a while but still living alone which worried me and my poor father so much. She had been in hospital for 2 weeks and seeing my dad suffer was awful (as he is obviously not young either).

I have literally been waiting for 'the phone call' for so long. I know she had a wonderful happy extremely long life with no illnesses and lots of people caring for her and so although I am sad that she is no longer around, I am content that she is at peace and my father can now start looking after himself again.

Hi Kayzr

So sorry about your Grandad :(

My Mum died of cancer on New Years Eve. I have been through many emotions, as you describe. The sadness, the relief that she is no longer suffering. These are all normal and will vary from day to day.

And yes, the knowing that the phone call is no longer due.

I remember about a month before Mum passed away, phoning their home number and there was no answer. Of course I thought the worst. But it was nothing bad.

I wish you and your family love and strength.

YANBU. Im still waiting for that phone call and really want it to be over now

Grandad was given "hours" to live on Tuesday and has been hanging on ever since. He has advanced Dementia but it's Cancer that's killing him. Mum says there is nothing left of Grandad now, no one inside the shell - he's just staring into space, won't react to anything or respond to anyone,it's like he doesn't even know they're there.

He's being well looked after so we're confident he's not in pain but it's tearing my Mum to pieces. I'm not sure how much more she can take.

I feel like I'm almost wishing him dead now but I know that if he knew what was going on, he'd hate this as much as we do. I love him so much but I'll breathe a huge sigh of relief when this is all over - then have a damn good cry.