Soon going to be the first anniversary

[missdisorganised1]

It is soon going to be the first anniversary of Mum and Dad being killed.

Nan and Granddad (my Mum?s) and Grandma and Grandpa (my Dad?s) have probably got their own ideas about what they want to do. But I want at least part of what happens to be what I want and need. The trouble is I cannot think of anything suitable.

Any ideas, not too expensive (my money is tight) and not too tiring for the others.

I have booked the anniversary off from school so it could be during the day.

We used balloons for my auntie (who died young and had a 7-year-old son). But we did it on what would have been her birthday - one for each year of her life filled with helium and set free in a beautiful setting she liked. Her son drew a picture and attached it to a balloon to "send" it to her.

Big hug xx

Helium balloons sounds nice.

Or plant a tree/trees in your garden or local park, or another place your mum and dad liked.

the National Trust does seem to have such a scheme, - if you have one near you. Maybe your local council could tell you if you can plant memorial trees in their public spaces.

I have always liked balloons.

My advice is to try to make the day a celebration of your parents lives not a sitting round crying day. It is special day that you will remember for ever so please make it special for you and not just the rest of the family.

Can I just say please don't release balloons - I can see the attraction of the idea, and people have suggested it to me as a way for my children to remember their dad on his anniversary, but I have never done it - please read this leaflet to explain why.

Balloons are deadly to wildlife, even the ones which are supposed eco-friendly and biodegradable - by the time they have degraded, they could already have choked something to death. Same goes for chinese lanterns. Not a good way to remember someone.

I look at photos with the children, talk about their dad, and listen to music he loved. If we lived near DH's grave we would go and leave flowers but we don't. Planting a tree or lighting a candle are good alternatives.

How about at some point sitting down a selection of photos and a blank book/laptop and asking questions and jogging memories for stories about your parents and the part they played and continue to in all your lives.

A record of how you and your grandparents felt at wedding days, stories your parents told them of when you were little or on holiday will be bitter sweet for you all.

My parents died together to, one the first aniversary we planted a tree for them. They have been gone for 13 years now and the tree is in a local park and i feel immense pride everytime I walk by it.

too