Friends Brother has died of Anaphylaxis.

[Toothache]

I'm so SOOOOO shocked and . I didn't know her brother that well, but it has really hit home how fragile life is.

He was only 23. He had been travelling the world having fun. He carried an epipen due to a severe nut allergy. But something went wrong..... he was on a train coming home from Poland. He ate something that he didn't know had nuts in it..... don't know why he didn't get his epipen in time, but he didn't.

The funeral is today. Can't believe it, he was such a sweet guy. His Mum and Dad must be broken.

Just to add.... my friend is being amazingly strong and has thrown herself into the practicalities. She was at his flat with her other little Brother clearing out his things.... how do you get over something like that? Don't know what to do or say or whether I should send a card??

Im so sorry for your freind I'd send a card, there's nothing you can say that will make it better, but just to know people are thinking of you helps.
When DH lost his sister we had to throw ourselves into the practicalities, flying to the states and dealing with police, funneral directors ect You just go into auto pilot.
To ansewr your question how do you get over something like that? You don't, it just gets a little easier

Thanks Whimsy. I haven't seen my friend for a while. She moved down to London about a year ago. Will definitely send a card..... but who do I send it to?? Her Family? Or her personally. I'll have to send it to her Mums house you see.

send the card to her

how sad

If you know the parents at all, I would send a card to them and then anther card to your friend. It is horrible when things like this happen. You are right, life seems so fragile.

Do you what keeps playing on my mind.... what comfort can his Mum take from the way he died??? None. I know that its only a tiny comfort.... but she can't say "oh he died peacefully in his sleep." or "He wouldn't have suffered"....

He was alone, scared, suffocating and noone could help him. Oh god its terrible.

fwiw toothache i dont think anyone takes any comfort from death when the life is so young. it is different if it is an old person as they have lived their life iykwim

Toothache I know exactly what you mean, my SIL
was on her own when she died, in tragic circumstances, not peacefully and this plays on Dh mind, if only he was there he could of some way prevented it
Your right Fio2 when they are young it seems so unfair.

Sorry for your friend Toothache. I would send a card to her and her mum. I have lost quite few close relatives in my life and it is nice to know people are there. I found that I wanted to talk about the logistics of it and the type of person they were and what they should have been doing etc etc more than the grief part. This particular story distresses me as I have a ds 2 who is allergic to nuts and we carry an epipen. I know that I will never be able to stop worrying about this even when he is 50!! The reality of nut allergy is that he could possible have used his epipen but crashed again. Some are known to crash several times in one hour. One epipen would not have been enough.