Little Peanut

[CoffeeGoneColdAgain]

Up above, we are sending you all our love! 5 yrs today we lost you and think of you every single day.

my condolences to you CoffeeGoneColdAgain, I hope you get through today with some happy memories as well as the sad ones.

Thank you so much dementedma, kept busy most of the day, but had my moments.

I can't even imagine how dreadful it must be for you - do you want to tell me a little about little peanut?

Hi again, Peanut was our 2nd child, who we lost at 11.5, was an awful ordeal, but nothing could be done. I thought i was miscarrying and went to the doctors as i was bleeding and my doctor gave me an internal (which i understand now that they are not supposed to do), she said my cervix was fully closed and i had nothing to worry about but just to take it easy.
I knew something wasn't right and asked my mum to pick ds up from school as i had a feeling i would end up in hospital and didn't want to upset/scare him.
Had what i can only describe a pain inside that was like wringing out a dishcloth (iyswim) it was horrid, not like a contraction more like an ongoing pain. Called my hospital and they asked me to go in straight away and when i got there they asked me to lay on the bed. The doctor gave me an injection in my thigh, not sure what it was but assume it was pain relief as i was writhing around at this point.
Within a few seconds i felt a 'pop' inside me and little peanut came away, I was in another world at this point and don't remember much, Dp was sobbing so much and went out to call my mum he then came back and i was moved to room on my own. wasn't offered a shower or bath, just left on our own, dp went home after an hr or so and i tried to get some sleep. They left me all night, no one came in to check on me, still had canulla (sp) in 9 hrs later, nurse came in the next morning and asked me whether they could cremate the 'remains' (how nicely put). I just agreed and asked them to remove canulla so i could go home which they did. We miss Lp and what could have been, I have since gone on to have Dd who is 3 now but the pain never goes away.
Thank you for asking Dementedma. It meant a lot. :)

Oh Coffee, what an awful experience. i had a threatened miscarriage at 12 weeks with DC3, taken to hospital in the night bleeding. Said there was nothing they could do but if the bleeding stopped, it would prob be ok. it stopped - then started again. I now know what it is like to cry until you have no tears left. I was on the maternity ward, which was dreadful. However, they agreed to check for heartbeat next morning and after the longest few second of my life, that tiny , rapid ticking had me in tears again. i was very lucky. Sorry, hope this doesn't come across as insensitive given our very different outcomes, i just wanted to let you know that I know what an awful thing it is, and so much worse for you as you lost your LP and i didn't.
I am glad you now have dd3 and I hope each anniversay of LP's passing becomes easier for you.