I'm feeling quite down today and it feels a long time until Saturday:(
Saturday 16th would be my firstborn DS's 12th Birthday. He died from cot death/SIDS on 7th January 1999 aged 11 weeks 6 days. Not a day goes by when I don't think of him in some way or another but I feel very emotional today. I usually feel a little better once his Birthday is over but find the lead up to it difficult. This year it seems really hard, maybe because I've been struggling with depression over the last year and worry that I will be overwhelmed with sadness. I am on ADs and have been feeling better for a while but the thought of getting through this week seems to have really got me down.
I have three lovely DDs for which I'm so grateful as I don't know what I would be like without them. However the loss of my only DS and all the might've beens is so painful.
Somehow his Birthday being on Saturday is worse as it is such a family day. We usually go and visit him, but I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the week until then.