Tomorrow is my DS 11th birthday (10th sep) next week (17th sep) i should be celebrating my dd Chardonnay's 12th birthday she died when she was 10 days old . I'm happy for my son but dreading next week. I always buy a card & light a candle for Chardonnay's birthday but feel down during the days leading up to it & for days after .I have been invited out to celebrate a friends 21st birthday but its on the same day as Chardonnays birthday i'm feeling really guilty as i want to go but i have never been out on her birthday. Am i wrong for going out & enjoying myself i don't know what to do as i don't want to dissapoint my friend but i feel as if i'm letting Chardonnay down. Some people say i should let go a bit but i can't should i be feeling guilty?