Finding my friends death hard to accept :(

[nikki1978]

A good friend of DH and I died unexpectedly just over 3 weeks ago and I still can't quite believe it. He was only 26 and the cause of his death is still unknown. The funeral was on Monday and I found the whole thing very difficult - I think I cried more than his parents did . We weren't even massively close but I did spend quite a lot of time with him over the last 3 years as he was DHs business partner and good friend. DH is nto really sad at all which I am also finding hard to understand. He has dealt with a lot of the practical stuff but says he comes to terms with death very fast and isn't upset by it.

I suppose I wish I knew that he has gone to a better place but I am not religious and just don't know what I believe about all that.

There is nothing anyone can say I guess but I just feel very very sad :( I keep looking for some kind of sign that he is somewhere around us which is stupid I know.....

I am so sorry . It isn't stupid to look for comfort.

I'm so sorry that your friend has died.

You're not being stupid at all. I'm not religious either, but I believe that good people live on in the thoughts of the living (I know that's a bit airy-fairy, but I can't articulate it in any other way).

Watch out for your DH, by the way - do you think he is still in shock? I suppose we all deal with bereavement differently. But he might find the grief hits him later on.

Anyway, my condolences to you. Perhaps you could write to your friend's parents to share stories about him with them? They will probably really appreciate it.

It is very soon after the event. I still can't accept my brother's death and that was four years ago. You are both still in shock and all bets are off as far as normal emotional responses are concerned.

Try and be kind to yourself. And I wouldn't necessarily take your DH's words at face value; some people find comfort in dealing with the practical things surrounding a death, perhaps because it provides a focus other than the awful emotional maelstrom. He will be on his own grief path, for want of a less wanky phrase, and the only thing you can do is to keep communicating with each other and be honest.

Wishing you strength x

so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mum 6 weeks ago and finding it so hard to come to terms with and like you im looking for a sign that she is ok....
and n a better place ...

such a difficult time for all .

kind wishes to you all .x

Sorry for your loss.
It's hard to know what if anything happens after a death, I avoided the gone to a better place when my DH died, cos I knew it would confuse the children.
I often feel his presence and we talk about him daily.