Bad dreams

[drymartini]

I lost my Mum in September last year, and I have just started having terrible nightmares. It started about 3 weeks ago and they are quite ridiculous but utterly scary. Has anyone else had this?

I did after my dad died... I won't go into detail, but they were pretty horrific (he was killed by a drunk driver).

I guess it's fairly normal when you lose someone you love... I'm not a psychologist, but I'd guess it's your brain's way of dealing with the grief.

Mine stopped after I started talking about them.

Ok, thanks. I only mentioned it to my husband this morning after another random night dreaming my daughter had been murdered (no kidding).
I'm hoping for a bit of respite now I have realised that it's a regular occurance.
So sorry about your Dad and thanks for the advice.

I've had nightmares since my db was killed in october i'll go a few nights where i cant remember them but often they are very vivid. As if he's trying to tell me what happened. He was killed by a so called friend in a road crash, who had been drinking and smoking cannabis. I also get the images of my brother in the hospital mortuary or at the funeral home and other memories from around that time. I think its my brains way of forcing me to look at the issues and deal with my dbs death. Which i haven't done i still expect him to text and say he's coming round etc.

I think you're right. Have you seen a therapist? I tried briefly, but found that death is so completely incomprehesible that no therapist could possibly explain it in any helpful way. My dreams are far more ridiculous than yours, but still feel utterly scary at the time.
My best friend who has lost both her parents says that dreaming about them being lost, or kidnapped or hidden is very usual. But the random nightmares that seem not about the death at all seem very odd.
Like you say, trying to make sense of the impossible.

Shelley are you finding it hard to think about your brother outside of the death memories? My mum died of a very quick pancreatic cancer and I simply can't find memories of her NOT ill or dying in my mind. Because these are so painful, I find it easier not to think at all. Perhaps like you the dreams are trying to force me to.

I do but only when my ds says about his uncle and on other odd occassions. I seam to concentrate on him not being here now rather than he was here and im lucky for that and the fantastic memories he did give me if you know what i mean. I think sometimes a small thing can trigger a memory. I have a photo of my ds and db and i love it i can remember taking it and that was a really happy time. I do really have to concentrate though to get to those memories.

I think in someways doing a eulogy did help me because i managed to get some memories of him to share with everyone else. I had to put everything out of my mind and it just came to me though