Hoping someone has had a similar experience and can either shed light/give advice...
DS is 3.5 (has a twin sister, who at the moment is giving me very little trouble at all. I'm sure that will change, though...). DS is usually a thoughtful, fun, energetic boy. Was prone to tantrums as a younger toddler, but these have become less frequent as he's got older. We go through the occasional rocky couple of weeks when he's a bit more aggressive/antsy than usual, but over the last month or so it feels like we've been hit with every previous dodgy behaviour... and then some.
He's been toilet trained for nearly a year, but has recently taken to urinating deliberately wherever the fancy takes him. He grins as he does it - not in an apologetic way; in a way that he knows that he's doing wrong and seems to find it funny. It's not unusual to do it three/four times a day at home. He goes to nursery three full days a week (he's been there since he was 12 months old and is happy there) and never has an accident. Likewise, we've recently been on holiday and he hasn't had a single accident there, so I don't think it's a change in routine problem, as he only does it at home. DH and I have tried ignoring what he's done and quietly cleaning it up; getting him to help clean it up and - today - sitting down and giving him a stern talking to, and removing a treat promised for later this afternoon (getting the paddling pool out in the garden). He seemed pretty contrite at the time, but laughed when he saw me cleaning up his wee after the stern talking too. Why? Why? Why?
He's become more aggressive, too. He'll walk up to me or DH with a smile on his face, and push or slap us. We'll say 'no' immediately and he apologises straight away and all is well - until an hour or so later when he does it again. We'll warn him, and if he repeat-offends he gets a time out. He's becoming rougher in play with his sister, too. We've had episodes like this before, but they've been shorter lived.
He has also started whining, too - an ear-splitting whine that comes from no-where. His speech is fine, so I don't think it has anything to do with an inability to express himself. When I ask him why he needed to cry out, he's able to explain the reason perfectly well - but they're always trivial. 'I want another drink,' for example, or 'My thumb itches!'. I'll ask him to ask me in his big boy voice and not to whine, and he does as I ask... until the next time (usually five minutes later).
He has also become fiercely oppositional. He'll deliberately ask me for unreasonable things he knows will get a 'no' just so he can pick a fight with me (eg, asking for sweets for breakfast - and I give him sweets once in a blue moon!). I stay calm and ignore him as he rants, and eventually he gives up. Until the next time (again, five minutes later).
I've been wondering whether he's going through a testosterone surge, as he's not just more aggressive but seems to walk with a permanent swagger, constantly needs to fiddle with his genitals (he's taken to waving his willy at the cat and laughing uproariously) and seems to have taken against DH lately (poor DH is a great dad, has oceans of patience but even he is getting fed up with being slapped, pushed and shouted at by DS). Oh... another thing. DS also doesn't want to walk much anymore. He throws a major strop if I won't carry him down the stairs (I rarely give in, so cue even more howling and wailing and whining...)
Reading this back, it feels as though he's half wanting to be a baby again and maybe this is just the ambivalence that comes with being three and a half and growing up. But I'd be so, so grateful if anyone else can shed any light on his behaviour, or offer advice. Is DS's behaviour normal? Seriously, we've been talking just now and wondering whether we ought to see a child psychologist. Which I know is probably a gross over-reaction on our part, but the uurinating, willy-waving, swaggering, hitting, pushing... all normal?
BTW, I have tried asking DS after each urinating/hitting/pushing episode 'Why did you do that?' (calmly, of course), and he looks genuinely baffled and says, 'I don't know'.
Sorry for waffling on...