How to handle this bahaviour?

[bellbottom]

Help! Really need to collect some tips on ways to handle to following toddler bahaviour:

• dd has angry fits every single time she fails to manage something on her own.
• Disagreeing with all my suggestions and telling me how to do it another way instead
• trying to control me ALL the time. Telling me what to do and how to do it

This is all pretty much been like this since she was born! EXTREMELY strong willed. Unable to break her will and most of the time unable to meet her somewhere in the middle. Its great she is so confident and strong minded but I'd like her to learn to be a little flexible for later on in life! And I'm sturggling to find the balance between showing her I'm the boss and allowing her to be her own person. Really need some tips from parents with a similar child.

I'm a single parent so all discilpine comes from me and sometimes I find it hard to fulfill the role of mother and father without coming on too strong and alientaing myself from her.

Thanks!

With disagreement and controlling type behaviour, my approach was often a slightly sarcastic 'you know best'. Let them get on with doing something their way, not argue and wait for it to go awry - then help them out. Obviously this doesn't extend to ideas that are downright dangerous

Getting furious at being unable to do something is slightly different. Wait for the fury to subside and then ask 'do you need some help?' Stepping in mid-frothy is hopeless because they're really not thinking clearly. Once help has been accepted then you can give them 'it's not the end of the world', 'it's not worth getting upset about' type speeches.

My 'wilful toddler' (and I'm also a single parent) just turned 10 and one of his school report areas to work on is still 'asking for help'... so it takes time