DD saying only handful of words... Normal???

[JemAndEllie]

my DD is 2yrs 3months and can only say mummy, daddy, boo and gone. is this normal, should she be saying more? the thing im most worried about is that she doesnt even try to copy a word if you tell her it. i know theyre all different but people are so competitive and say oh she should be doing more than that any advice greatly appreciated

Ignore people (apart from me of course!). My DD2 didn't say anything until she was 2.3 and then she didn't even speak so anyone could understand her (apart from me, DH and DD1). She made strange moany noises and never tried to repeat what I said. I was really worried but now, at at the age of 2.10, people can understand her more and she can form sentences. Be patient! Your DD sounds like she says a lot to me. And don't compare her with other children of that age -I did and it drove me mad.

DS was the same and I did worry about it. Cant seem to shut him up nowadays! Dont listen to other people, all children are different.

they are all different but waiting lists for speech are so long it's worht getting on it. in our area it's around 12-18mths long! you can always take her of the list if her speech improves over this time.

A general rule is single words at 1, 2 word sentences at 2 and more complex sentences at 3. But, as you say, they are all different and it is not really helpful to compare children.
Sometimes, parents are so tuned into their children and thier needs that the child doesn't have to speak much, so they don't.
Do you have conversations with her and do you check understanding? It is so easy for us to talk at children instead of to them.
The best way to bring on a child's language is to model the language by speaking to them and engaging them in conversation.
At this age, she will be learning lots of new words, even if she isn't actually using them.
One method that works really well, to encourage children to speak is to sing nursery rhymes with them. When you get to the end of each line, pause, and the child will usually fill in the blank.
e.g 'Twinkle twinkle little .....'.
A lot of the time, speech and language delays sort themselves out, but it is important to be aware of possible causes of speech delay. Things like glue ear can cause temporary hearing loss and affect speech. If you are at all worried about your DD, then it worth seeking professional advice, such as a health visitor.

oh i speak to her all the time she understands everything i and my DH say to her. her comprehension is fantastic so the tools are there she just isnt using them yet lol. its just frustrating when other mums bleat on about theirs doing this that and the other. i try so hard to ignore it. i asked my health visitor and she contradicted herself by saying not to worry and then turning around and saying but she should be doing more and they cant put her on the list for speech therapy til 2 and half. so then that made me worry too!! lol i thimk shes just lazy cuz i know what all her grunts and nioses mean anyway
thank you all for your advice xx

The people saying 'my child is doing x and yours should be doing why' are not helping. But actually neither are those saying 'my child never spoke much at 2.6 and now at 4 he chats away all th etime'

Neither are relevent. Anymore than my saying 'my son didn't speak at 2 and actually didn't speak at 4 and now aged 13 has a very profound speech dealy, is barely intelligible and I wish I had dealt with it sooner'.

If YOU are concerned then get a speech and language referral. The worst that will happen is that they will tell you nothing is wrong. But is your DC does have a problem the earlier they get help the better the likely outcome. Delaying actually does make things worse.

So decide if you think there is a problem and if you do, or if you suspect there might be - go to your GP and insist on a referral to speech and language and get some hearing tests done too

she is not lazy. generally children who speak late are not lazy. I hate that late talkers are qualified as lazy, it's rubbish.

People shouldn't assume that a child has a speech delay because parents don't speak to them or converse enough with them. That's really not it at all, it's a comment usually made by people who either have children who don't have a speech delay or worst, by people who don't have children. Or by mothers in law.

Speech development is a very complex process and some children develop it slower and later than others. It takes more efforts. The first thing to do is to have her ears checked, so you can get a referal by GP or HV. Go on the waiting list for salt as in our area it took 3 months to get initial assessment.

I have a 3.4 DS and he was very late at developing his speech. He has been assessed top to bottom and he is spot on with all areas of his development. We speak to him all the time, he has a beautiful relationship with his older brother who has no speech delay.

I found that proper words were not the first thing he said, neither were nursery rhymes. But sounds, car sounds, things like oh oh, plane sounds, animal sounds, and unique sounds (for example, he know most letter phonics months before he could speak - he could say SSSSS but not Sit) and he couldn't put sounds into meaningful words.

He has now started t alking but he is about 18 months behind, and nobody in the professional sector - salts, psychologists, neurologists, pedeatricians EVER told me that my son wasn't talking because he was lazy or because we were not talking to him enough.

There are some very well recognised methods that we have used to encourage his speech, especially the book It Takes Two to Talk.

Please please don't listen to people who say that she is lazy or that you don't speak to her enough.

I know someone's 3yo that does not talk atall so your child is doing pretty well infact!

My DD was very reluctant to talk. Although she could always communicate in other ways. I stopped responding to her and said I did not understand.
At 3 years the first thing she said was "I want a drink and I want it now".

I have found that if I'd stop 'responding' to his 'gruntings', even if I knew what he wanted, he would get very frustrated, cry, be upset, and still didn't use words to communicate. It's not because they don't want to talk, it's because they can't.

The best way recognised way to encourage speech is to model it. So if your child, for example, goes to the fridge door and grunts (you know she wants milk) go to the fridge door, say 'oh are you thirsty? Thirsty? Want Milk, nice Milk, do you want Milk? Mmmmmm Milk! here's the Milk. Where's your beaker? Beaker? Where?' so basically speak in short sentences, prononce a few key words really clearly and often, and eventually she will. Don't say 'what do you want? I don't understand you? What is it?. If it's anything like DS she will get cross and will cry. That's not productive.

blueberry that is exactly the same as my DD she can do all sounds of letters and animals, mmm for yummy and say oh-oh when she drops something for example. if i dont respond she does get very upset as she cant talk back to me. i always chain together small sentences of two or three words and she understands what i say so the comprehension is definitely there. your replies have been very helpful to me thanks so much.

DD had a hearing test when she was first born and all was good does that not necessarily mean she could have developed a problem since? although i expect that isnt the problem at all i can be whispering to someone about something on the other side of the room and she will respond to what im saying eventhough it isnt aimed at her lol shes such a cheeky thing

ds2 was like this, and at almost 3 has really only recently started saying more words

we've just had a hearing test and he has glue ear which they feel is affecting his hearing.
so def get it checked out

if you talk to the HV they'll refer you for a hearing test and a speech and language assessment
if anything is up she'll be on the radar nice and early, and if nothing is the matter then you'll know not to worry she's just taking her time!

lovechoc

I know two or three 12 year olds who don't speak at all. They have profound speech delay and autism.
Does that help the OP ?

Perhaps you could encourage the parent of the three year old to go and get some support or advice. A three year old not talking should be investigated

Glue ear (which DS had at 20 months but we don't know how long he had it for) is a thick liquid that gets stuck behind the ear drum. It can get infected, but sometimes it can go undetected for a long time. It muffles the sounds so that the consonates get all muffled - it's a bit like hearing under water. It usually develops during a bad cold but can stay for months, especially in small children. DS got nasal drops and it did the trick, but other children who have more severe cases can have grommets inserted which are very small tubes that allow the liquid to escape. A GP can sometimes diagnose glue ear (they can see that the ear drum is dull and has liquid behind it) or you can get refered to a audiologist or ear nose throat specialist.

DS2 was very similar and as soon as he turned 2 I saw the HV and was referred to a SALT. By the time he saw her a few months later his speech was coming along well.

But I totally agree with Pagwatch - hopefully there's nothing wrong but its always worth getting anything checked out that worries you.

At our 2.2 month check the HV advised that DD should have speech therapy (I mean, honestly!) as she could only say about 20 words. I firmly declined her offer as I didn't believe it was a problem and she'll get there in her own time, perhaps if she was 3 I'd be concerned. HV (offended and kept pressing for treatment) said she'll have to have another check up in 6 months time to see if she's improved.

She's now 2.6 months and the words are increasing every day so I know that I made the right decision. I know it's hard when you are pressured, by the "My PFB walked at 6months and talked at 9 months" brigade but just bear with it she'll mostly likely get there when she wants to. If you are worried in a few months time, then perhaps see someone.

my brother had glue ear when he was small and had two sets of grommets fitted so im familiar with this. my HV told me that she would call me regularly to check in and see how shes doing as i dont live near them but they never do i have had bad experiences with HVs. i was also told they are supposed to do a developmental check after 2nd bday. but we havent been called for that yet either. i was going to call and ask but thought id ask on here first for some first hand experience

Must say when we saw the SALT she was lovely - just played with ds2 and then said in her opinion he was fine and needed no follow-up.

I guess I don't really understand why anyone wouldn't want to do this if they have any concerns about their child's speech.

And as others have mentioned the waiting lists to see a SALT can be long so worth going on the list even if you decide nearer the time its not an issue any more and you cancel the appointment.

I agree. I think it is easy to assume that SALT will just see your child a few weeks after a referral.
Most people don't realise that it can be months before you see anyone. So if you don't ask until you are absoloutely sure your child is delayed, then they won't be seem until many months later by which time valueable time has been lost andtheir outcome is diminished

if you cant get a referel to salt til 2.5 you might be able to see them in childrens centre without a referel, a bit more informally. i see them wandering around ours quite often. they told me the average to look for is about 50 words at 2 and 2 word sentences but obviously some are faster with it and some are slower, same as walking.. atleast she has got some words and understands what you say, hopefully that is a good sign?

I can relate to your worry. DD2 will turn 2 in august and doesn't speak at all. She had undiagnosed tongue tie when born and didn't babble until the tongue tie was snipped when she was 1. She babbles now but doesn't actually say anything. I know she understands lot, she will point to things and if you even whisper the word icecream she runs to the freezer.

To add to the pressure we're a bilingual family which I know does slow things down. But I can't help but worry that she doesnt say a single word. Funnily enough though, a couple of months ago she used to say mama and would say it very excitedly when DH took her and dd1 to pick me up from work. She always recognised when they got close and would start chanting mama. She's completely stopped now though.

DH who stays at home to take care of them isn't keen to take her to be seen but I might just do it myself in two weeks when it's the summer hols.

OP.

Get a hearing test without delay - push if you need to.

Buy "It Takes Two to Talk" (published by Hanen - expensive - worth ten times the price) and work through it religiously. It will help you channel the anxiety in a positive way. It has no scary milestone charts or medical jargon and won't freak you out.

There are times to relax and go with the flow, and times not to relax and go with the flow. Both my kids were just using a few words at 2.3. DS1 sorted himself out in his own sweet way - benign neglect was fine. DS2 didn't - he needed much more intensive help. You don't have a crystal ball so you can't know whether it's ok to do nothing.

agree with lingle and others. it may be normal but it may not. given that speech therapy is just a matter of a nice therapist (usually female) talking to your child and showing them pictures/books/toys, any ultimately unnecessary appointments will do not a jot of harm. get a hearing test asap to rule out any hearing problems, and push for SALT referral.

in the meantime, useful books and sites for ideas of things to help bring her language on:-
www.hanen.org.uk
www.ican.org.uk
www.teachmetotalk.com

the parent's guide to speech and language problems by Debbie Feit
Baby Talk by Sally Ward
You Make the Difference and/or It takes two to talk by ayola manolson (Hanen books)

also if you have any surestart/children's centres nearby, you may be lucky enough to have a drop in salt clinic, or if not, they may run some sort of language type classes to help parents help their kids to communicate.

also worth trying out sing and sign classes or DVDs or trying out signs from something special - you would always use that alongside speech, to help learn new words.