Another night when my 4 year old screams, scratching and pinching!

[springchik]

I sometimes think I cant take anymore and hes only 4 years old. Tonight I have scratch marks all up my arm. He screamed all sorts at me as he was sitting on the settee which I'd made him sit on to "calm down" He tried to get my 2 year old to join in and say that mummys stupid but he refused and said no mummys not stupid no!

springchik aw that sucks poor you. Gosh they are blardy hard work aren't they!!

Can you just put him there and leave him there so you are not hurt!

You are disciplining him and he doesn't like it!! Plain as!
Take care of you

I stay in the room as otherwise he gets straight up. Well he gets up anyway but if I'm in the room I can put him back straight away iyswim. Time out always last ages as he will not stay put and screams me down when I try to give an explanation as to why he's there and/or tell him off etc. He stratches pinches and even bites me. Tonight he broke up ds2s toy cooker/kitchen his favourite toy. Dh had to put it together again from scratch.

Is this new behaviour? Anything that could have triggered it?

Does he do it with anyone else?

Is he starting school soon?

He just does it with me and his daddy (my dh) Yes he is starting school soon in september. Also he will be one of the very oldest (5 the week before he even starts!)

Springchik yes I do see what you mean. I use the hall and have had to chase ds around the house cos he hasn't stayed there. He has also jumped out of conservatory window and dh had to chase him!
We generally end up putting him straight in bed after that and I hate sending to bed angry!

The fact that he only does it at home is a good thing in a way isn't it? It means that there is probably not something wrong with him developmentally or behaviourally. Apparently kids who behave badly at home but not else where are very secure with the live they have from their parents. (I remind myself if that when dd us being awful.)

he sounds desperate to control the situation. Do you think you are getting sucked into too much of a debate/ exchange with him? Is there any mileage in giving him timeout in his room until he shows you that he is a big boy and can behave better. At the moment he is the centre of everything when he behaves like this.

love they get from parents!

this is one of the reasons i think time out just does not work

you're ending up hurt, he is getting a whole load of attention for being naughty, the 2 yr old is being dragged into it and you're both ending up even more upset

i would suggest when he does something that you'd normally give him time out for that you ask him if he'd like to calm down in his room. don't make it a big punishment, just take him up give him some books/toys, tell him to settle down and come back down when he is ready to behave again

if he comes straight back down that's fine. sometimes it helps to just say "oh good, you must have calmed down now, would you like a drink?" or something, and just wait until calm is totally resumed before explaining why you put him up there

I would also suggest isolating him until he calms down. Leave in a room by himself. Hand on the door-handle to prevent him coming out if necessary. No communication whatsoever because, as already pointed out, the attention is keeping it all going.