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Worried about 4yr old DS having problems with a child at preschool.

2 replies

Narketta · 09/07/2010 10:41

Hi DS is 4 and will be going up to reception in September.

He had mentioned a couple of times that a boy at preschool had on one occasion kicked him over and on another had tried to roughly pull him into the toilets but I hadn't been to concerned because I know that children tend to fall out with each other one day and be the best of friends the next.

At the beginning of spring term DS started to wet himself just before going to preschool which is something that he hadn't done since he was 2yrs 9mths so I was obviously worried I asked him if he was upset about anything and he told me again that this boy had hurt him, he said he had stood on his leg and stamped on his fingers, I asked him if he was sure it wasn't an accident DS said no it wasn't so I told him to stay away from him as much as possible and if he hurt him again to speak to a teacher and in the meantime I decided to have a quiet word with his teacher.

When I spoke to the teacher she cut me short and said "Yes well we have Had to have a word with your DS as he starts little games that then get out off hand and the little boy in question then retaliates". She also went on to point out that the boy in question is a hanful and his mum has problems with him at home. Now this is all ok as i've already said I know DS is no angel but surely if he is winding other children up to such a point that they then retaliate in an aggressive way I should have been told about his behaviour?.

Anyway when I picked DS up from preschool yesterday his teacher took me to one side and said that this boy had hurt DS's arm but she thought it was ok and had't put it in the accident book. DS's arm is badly bruised and swollen and is painful to touch and I'm wondering if I should keep him home today because he's upset again.

Have just found out that this boy is going to be in the same reception class a s DS so it looks like this is going to continue.

Do you think i'm being OTT to worry about him? What would you do?

OP posts:
Al1son · 09/07/2010 10:56

I don't think you are being OTT.

For a start it should have been in the accident book or at least an incident book.

I think you need to go in and ask what they have put in place to prevent your son from being injured again. They need to be focussing on the interaction between these two children and putting strategies in place to support them both to adapt their behaviour.

They should have been doing written observations, making notes of what has triggered these episodes and then making plans to remove or modify the triggers.

You could ask the school to put your son in another class if there is one in the school. If they can't or won't do this at least they'll be aware that there could be a problem.

There could well be issues for that other child that you are unaware of but that doesn't excuse him being physically injured on a regular basis.

Narketta · 09/07/2010 18:15

Thanks Al1son, Think i'll take your advice and pop in for a chat.

I don't want the teachers to think i'm trying to make trouble I just want DS to be able to go to preschool without feeling uncomfortable.

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