destructive 6 year old

[kittens]

My DN is 6 and has some behavioural issues, he has been diagnosed as mildly autistic, but attends mainstream school.

He is really destructive and its all come to a head today when he ran his scooter into my car 3 times and then very proudly showed me the damage he had done. His mother just shrugged and ask him to say sorry - which he didn't do!! I was livid and am now facing a bill of hundreds of pounds getting the door repaired and resprayed. Other damage he has caused is breaking my mum's new TV by cracking the screen with a potato masher - his mums reaction was 'you can claim on your insurance'. Breaking the doorbell by ripping the cover and electrics out of it in my DD's wendy house. The list goes on....

His mother seems to be unable to instill any discipline and her punishments are pathetic or worse non existant. For the scooter incident she took his scooter off him this evening and he gets it back in the morning.

I'm not really sure what to do she blames all his destructive behaviour on him being autistic, but I know other children with more severe autism and they certainly know right from wrong.

Am I being unfair??

I have a sn child (not autistic) and it id v hard work.

Does she have any help or support re her sonsautism.i agree damaging stuff is not good.Is he statemented or anything?

I would be very peed off if dd damaged anythingandtry really hard with her behaviour as i say she is not autistic but have sought help- to deal with her odd behaviours.It is really dificult.do you think your dsisl is fully awre of her ds problems.It took me a months to acknowledge dd was not nt and it was a long painful process,maybe she is still in denial/It took me severalpeople highlighting dd was not doing normal stuff for me to acknowledge it

He is not statemented as his autism not classed as severe enough to require statementing (if that makes sense), the school do provide some additional support to help him in lessons. He is a delightful little boy, but his destructive behaviour seems to be getting worse rather than better and to be honest everyone in my family are now feeling that they can't have them round as he will destroy someting and SIL/DB will not react or do anything about it - or even offer to pay for a replacement (and yes they can afford it!).

I know there is lots of support in our area, and my SIL does go to loads of coffee mornings to talk about things but does seem to have any effective methods to control or make him understand that he can't do these things.

I understand what you mean by denial, I think she was to begin with, but now seems to use it as an excuse for not keeping him under any sort of control.