Todays behaviour and discipline-did I do it wrong

[mummynumnum]

My dd 4 came home today. Was fine but tired. Playing with food. Asked her to stop and warned her and she carried on. She got put on timeout, explained why behaviour was unacceptable and she then screamed at me and went to hit me. V unlike her (went through a phase about yr ago of doing this). I took her to her room and gave her 4 mins and went in. Still no improvement and said if she carried on presents from friends at party yesterday would go to charity shop. No improvemnt, hence presents in bag. Eventually came down and apologised and has not really asked about presents yet. I am feeling horrible though and wondered if I over-reacted and have deprived her of these or as my dh says it is a lesson she needs to learn. Hitting out-consequences. Thoughts and advice would be welcomed.

Hitting should have consequences, yes.
But tbh it sounds as though she was overtired, and she is only 4. Playing with food is pretty minor so I am not sure I would have extended dinner time by giving her a time out. Maybe you could have nipped this episode in the bud if your response to her playing with her food was to take the food away, get her into the bath and give her an early night?

Yeah I think it spiralled! She was rude at dinner table as well, but just throwing food away prob would have been better. feel bad about toys now.

Ah don't feel bad. We all grasp at straws when things get fraught!
How about waiting until she is really good and then letting her have the toys back as a reward? Might be a face-saving way to backtrack!

thats what I thought, but husband is adament. Think I will work on him and like you say save them for a really good moment.

We have agreed that she can earn them back over a period of time and for really good behaviour!

Sges only 4 the weather is unpredictable heaven knows im 35 and knackered today lol .....sometimes you have to let it go.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing!!!