how to manage biting toddler - bites her baby sister, other toddlers...

[MummyElk]

DD1 is 2.5. DD2 is 15 weeks. transition has been pretty good, she does like the new addition and holds her hand and kisses her etc.
yesterday she bit DD2 VERY badly twice. first time was on her head and I utterly lost it. She spent a good ten minutes in her cot and then came down and said sorry to me and to DD2.
A few hours later (the mark is still on DD2's head) and DD1 bites her again In Front Of Me!! she immediately says sorry - i say this isn't good enough (she can't just bite and say sorry and expect it all to be ok) and when she wouldn't sit on the naughty step she ends up in the her cot. Again.

These aren't the first times that DD2 has been bitten - but not so bad, and we've reacted every time to say it's not a nice thing to do. DD1 has been bitten herself by other toddlers - she knows it hurts. I don't think i help matters - when i see her biting her my instant reaction is to shout at her, shove her away and tap her on the legs - it's a reaction and i think that's what she's after. But she's biting my little baby.... - what am I MEANT to do?!!!

I just don't know what to do. I've tried being angry. I've tried being calm and explaining it. Yesterday I said "you wouldn't like it if Mummy bit you would you" to which she offered me her arm to bite - which i did (not hard, obviously). She's been smacked. We've done star charts.
I don't like this vicious little girl and want my gorgeous one back...

please help me

feeling for you mummyelk, my dd who is 2.4 is exactly the same and like you we have tried various approaches none of which seems to sole the problem, i am hoping its just a phase which will pass, my son now 5 never bit but friends who have girls all have- i wonder if its a girl thing sometimes!

i am going to watch this thread to see is we get any wise words sent our way!

xx

Not just girls, my friend has a 2 year old DS who is biting everybody at the moment, and she doesn't know what she can do to stop him. He seems to think it's funny no matter how much she tells him off, puts him in the naughty corner, removes him from the situation etc.

My 25 month old is biting at the moment - it's just me he bites as well. Mostly when he's over tired and over excited. During the day time I give him a couple of warnings, then it's time out on the stairs. But at bedtime, I can't do this, if I'm trying to get his dressed for bed. :S

Any suggestions?

Hello all
thank you for the swift responses - nice to know i'm not alone i have to say
i just wandered over to this which is quite helpful...
plus a work colleague of DH's is bringing in toddler taming for us to read, apparently some good stuff in there.

Completely don't mind swapping some experiences if it helps over the next few days etc - if something works/doesn't work etc? Omg - a biting support thread!! ha ha.
Anyway my Monday resolution is to try and be Calm and Consistent. Easier said than done but still.

Not really got any advice but wanted to say my DS1 went through a very similar phase at about the same age which also coincided with DS2 arriving

I clearly remember him biting DS2's fingers when DS2 was in his crib and just happened to stick his fingers out - I know exactly how you feel as I knew it was just a phase/clearly a reaction to DS2 arriving which DS1 really struggled with (just like your DD, he would swing from being totally loving and stroking DS2 to hurting him) but I was so annoyed and angry at him for hurting my baby too

If it makes you feel better, it didn't last long. DS1 was hurting DS2 quite a lot (not just biting) so we introduced a scheme where he had about 5 smarties in a cup and every time he hurt DS2, a smartie would be removed (and if he did anything really good, we added a smartie to the cup) and he got to eat what was left in the cup each evening before bed - it did stop the behaviour and we phased out the smarties after a couple of weeks and the biting/smacking/hitting didn't really start again (DS2 is 19 months old now and DS1 has always hurt him every now and again but it is rare these days thankfully)

ceebee- what a good idea with the smarties, i am going to give that a try!

Hi a need to ask this I have two daughters one 14 and on 7 I have the cutest two year old nephew who I look apon as a son but over past 6 months he bit my daughter 3 times very bad bites the last bone two weeks ago where he drew blood my daughter was in some state the thing is there so close there like best friends but it's just her he bites so now my ex partner has banned her from going to my mum where my sister and her son stay am just really stuck bcoz my sister seems to be blaming my daughter for herself getting bitten bcoz she's always trying to play or fuss with him so when she said this a went ballistic we went to Disneyland Paris for five days there and Al he did constantly try bite her even my father saw this on facetime when they were talking to him am just stuck dunno what to do hellllp