How do you explain to an 11 year old that he can not be a spy when he grows up?

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

I've tried all the arguments I can think of. I need some help now please.

Thankyou.

He's 11 - can't he just daydream about what he wants to do when he grows up for a little longer?

I changed my mind at least a 100 times between 11 and now (and at fast approaching 30 I still have no idea what I want to do!)

Ah so my DS isn't the only one - he has only just ditched the spy ambition (he's 13). Going into his bedroom was a pain because I set off all his infrared intruder alarms. Now he wants to direct films and spends all his spare time polishing up his latest script - if anyone fancies watching a post apocalyptic zombie horror film filmed in our back garden I can arrange a screening

I know some one who was "invited" to become a spy when he graduated. Obviously he didn't become one, or he wouldn't have told me..or maybe he was double bluffing.

I know several people who have worked for MI5. Not exciting stuff, just following people. I think you have to be invited when you leave the army, or are turned down by the police.

What did that Russian spy die of in London a few years ago...My mind has gone blank. He died a horrible death in a couple of days. Scare him with that if you really don't want him to become a spy. Or you could just go with the flow and give him a decent pair of binoculars and a not book and let him get on with it.

Now, I just have to explain to DS that he probably wont be an F1 driver......

I don't want him to be a syp, it's dangerous! (more cotton wool being ordered online as we speak)

Peace loving hippies always end up with gun-toting spies & far-right politicians for children, didn't they tell you that? It's nature's way of keeping the balance...

I thought you couldn't be a spy unless all of your immediate family had died - or is this just something I read in James Bond. It might be a good argument to go with though.

I would say exactly the same as if my ds told me he wanted to be an astronaut or rock star or a football player or something: 'Yes dear. That sounds great. Pass the salt.'

Intruder alarm? He has a plastic cythe (spelling) at the side of his bed, a torch and a pair of binoculars under his pillow "just incase" (oh, and so he can see the birds nest in the tree opposite the house).

Russian, Litvinyenko?? They killed him with a radioactive substance. I've told him, his response was "ohh, cool. Not for him though obviously"

Ah belle - you've got plenty more years for the cotton wool before there any real risk of him becoming a spy. Unless MI5 have started recruiting really young

The more you say he can't, the more he will want to become a spy. Go along with how fantastic it will be then it will seem less exciting! Then order him the box set of Spooks including the one where the spy gets her face pushed into the deep fat fryer. He'll soon lose interest!

I tried the "yes dear", it did nothing.

That's James Bone Satin.

Actually all you need do is make assertions online about your son and then make assertion about your views on terrorism, politics or indeed dissention from common views and he'll be discounted for having links with a subversive. Job done.

Of course if he wants an interesting job, tell him to look into studying science, computing and maths. Then head over to GCHQ. That's the safer (and frankly less dull) end of things.

God, I hated that episode. I've not watched it since then, there was really no need for that!

Who knows what age MI5 are recruiting. I suppose if he goes into it now his pension will be secure.

Oh god I'd just forgotten about that episode bleeurgh.

That's a good plan whomovedmychocolate. Maths, science and computers are his speciality.

Can I do the peace protests aswell?

I agree with the others that you shouldn't try to deter him. There are all sorts of jobs at Vauxhall Cross (SIS), not just the general 'spys'. He could also join the Foreign Office and transfer across.

Sorry, but I wouldn't stop him. Very interesting work I understand

I'm sure it is. He'd make such a lovely vet though, and he will get to shoot things (with a needle)

He s really nosey. Hmm.

Pay is rubbish to start with though - about £24K after initial training.

you could explain that being a spy is really quite dull?

Yup, I warned him about that, he said compared with his pocket money this is a fortune!

I could try, following people around all day can't be very interesting. I wonder if they have open days?

Just say 'Look, no one knows a spy is a spy. That's the point. So if you want to be a spy, stop blathering on about it and Keep A Low Profile.'

That way, he may still want to be a spy but it will be Inside His Head and you will not have to hear about it and thus the arguments will cease.

Great!!

Belle! Brilliant... Is this the chap who rescues spiders?

When I read the thread title, I immediately thought but he can even though the pay is crap.