I'm terrified of big spiders but I want dd (15m) to have a chance...

[bebemoohatessnot]

How do I contain my terror when I'm out in the garden and come across one so she can have a chance to grow to 'love' them. She watches me so closely.
When I found one today I nearly jumped on top of the shed...
When I saw she was watching I giggled and pointed at it. And smiled. And pointed/poked at it with a stick. I nearly screamed when it decided to come towards us. But I just said 'look it wants to make friends!' then ushered us farther away...

Watching this, as I don't like dogs much (oh, how ironic) and don't want to pass on my fear to DS (although he's only 6 months so I have a while before I need to worry)

One of my friends is terrified of spiders and her then 5 or 6 year old daughter had absolutely no idea. Don't know how she did it, though.

AngelDog I feel for you. Coming across dogs would be much more common.

Well neither my mother or father are in the least bit frightened of spiders and would happily pick them up, but both of my siblings I are. And the same with moths. So don't know if these things actually get passed on by parents.

and I (whoops)

true, trianera - I have no problem with worms, spiders, moths, daddy longlegs - but my sis screams whenever she sees one. SHe also won't do gardening because of the "creepy crawlies" - I don't at all like slugs but can put up with them so long as they don't get on me. My big ishoo is wasps (hers too though!)

I don't think either of my parents had problems with any of them either, iirc.

I have, however, had the opposite problem to the OP - I have had to instil in DS a reluctance to touch any insect life in the garden here, as he can't differentiate between insects and spiders and we have nasty poisonous ones in Australia.

Were your parents afraid of anything which you're subsequently afraid of/wary of I wonder? (My Mom is afraid of spiders...)

My mum hates snakes and can't even look at photos of them, and they don't really bother me, although don't think I'd be too happy to find one in the garden!

Yeah I know what you mean trianera... so maybe I have nothing to worry about? Did you ever see your mom 'deal' with the issue. I.e. did she come in contact with any when you were around? Did it make you very wary of them?

I am terrified of Spiders - even teeny ones. DS2 is not keen but ok - a bit tearful if it's really big. DS1 is my hero and regularly pops them out the window for me.

So i'm guessing it may not be passed on anyway....

Fear of spiders is so common yet so irrational it's very odd and therefore intrinsic. Snakes, dogs etc. can be explained by bad experiences or evolution.

I too am scared stiff of spiders and keen not to pass this on so watching with interest...
Think you are right stainedglass dh is a psych grad and told me that you can induce a phobia of anything, but for some reason it's much easier with spiders. It's also much harder to cure a spider phobia than one of, say, cabbage! His example iirc Guess that throughout our evolution we have had good cause to be scared of them. I told you so...

I am the same

Have tried desperately to not 'pass it on'

Think I've done reasonably ok... dd1 is 6 and she knows I don't like them (spiders). Have explained that it is irrational (and what that means). She is no great fan but can tolerate them - i.e she doesn't have a panic attack when one is indoors

dd2 is nearly 4 and seems to quite like them... happy to inspect, touch and would probably pick one up

argh! The thought of ds picking one up is awfull! Have got some way to go here me thinks... .

Pat yourself of the back
notnowbernard! Hope i can manage what you have done.

I'm not that courageous, honestly...

Am dreading the late August/September season

Live in fear of them seeing me flip out... which is why I thought I'd 'own up' to dd1 about how I am scared of them (irrationally) and that it is very silly of me but that's just the way I am. So if she does see me react she can hopefully put it into context (me being a wuss, basically)

Have only done this recently though

I am a total wuss and hate it!

One day, I keep telling myself, I am going to do the Friendly Spider training programme at London Zoo.

My mum is terrified of wasp, though I'm not. Don't particularly like them, but won't flap about.

My DD has been terrified of any creepy crawly since she has been able to talk, and while I don't particularly like most creepy crawlies she would be terrified of even the tiniest little fly. We have an allotment and it makes things quite stressful!