Attitude towards toddler after new baby born

[MeMes]

Hello

My baby is 4 weeks old, and I have a 2 1/2 year old too. I feel a bit worried about how my attitude has changed towards my toddler.

She is a really good child for the most part and I really can;t complain. She's also in nursery 3 days a week and I have hubby to help out at the weekends. Yet despite this, I still find myself resenting her presence sometimes, especially if she is 'playing up' a bit. For example, when I'm feeding the baby and she's looking for a bit of attention. At times like these, I'm ashamed to say I just want her to disappear for a while.

I also find myself losing my temper with her more than I should. I'm worried that all this will affect her in the long run, and her attitude towards the baby. Any tips/advice?

I'd say that was 100% normal. We love our kids but we're only human, ultimately. Doesn't have to be a new baby... any stressful situation and you're going to lose your temper more easily. With adults as well as kids. Make up for it when you can by giving your toddler plenty of attention & fuss when baby is having a nap or something. Get your toddler to help can be a fun game for them. You could even explain that you're sorry if you've been a bit tired and grumpy lately with the new baby... even quite small children can understand that.

FWIW... don't worry too much about how she's affected in the future. 'Big sisters' often share very noble character traits of being rather independent, responsible and caring types. Probably because we (yes, I am one) learn to grow up that bit quicker and adjust to these time-consuming babies!

I may be naive as my second hasnt arrived yet (due in October!) but maybe you could try and involve her in helping out with the new baby - i.e. have her sit baby on her lap and helphold her bottle (under your supervision obviously) or help out with nappy changing, so she isnt left alone to end up attention seeking and being naughty just so you will take your attention away from the baby. and that way she will feel more like she is helping mummy look after her baby sister(?) and it may improve her behaviour if she feels shes getting more of Mummys attention.

And i would definately say try to spend at least 12 mins to half an hour each day just wirh your toddler on herown if possible, just to play or read her a book so its mummy and her like the old days shes used to. this should make her feel a lot more contended.

I am very curious as to how my little boy who will be just under 3 will deal with the new baby situation and so its good to hear real stories of how other people feel and cope with it. Only time will tell i suppose!