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Am I being PFB, or do I actually have a bright toddler?

61 replies

megonthemoon · 28/06/2010 15:48

I'm a bit nervous about posting this, as I know when people say that their DCs are very clever, when they're still just a baby or toddler, that it is usually just the parents being a bit too PFB and that it all evens out when DCs are school age anyway, and that other mums/dads rightly end up rolling their eyes

But recently I've realised that some of the things I've read on here about what 2 year olds can do and what friends DCs can do, versus what DS can do, just seem quite different.

So DH and I have started to realise that maybe our DS, aged 2.3, is actually quite bright and are just wondering if we need to be doing anything to actively help him develop at his own pace, but not pressurise him into doing anything he doesn't want to, and we want to try and get this right. Anyway, just a few examples:

  • he speaks in full grammatically correct sentences that he forms himself (rather than just copying what I say) e.g. this morning we had DS: "Oh dear" Me: "Did you drop some cornflakes DS?" "No mummy. I spilt some milk"
  • his nursery manager says that his language skills are at least a year ahead of his actual age and she hasn't known anyone this young speak like this before
  • friends always comment on how he is doing things that their DCs couldn't do or aren't doing
  • he can do various 20-30 piece jigsaw puzzles on his own without any help from us
  • he has memorised his favourite stories, e.g. Tiger who came to tea, such that he likes to 'read' them to us by looking at the picture and using several of the specific words on the page that he has remembered
  • he can talk about events in the past, including a month or two ago
  • last week he saw the road atlas in the car and asked what it was. I said "it's a map. It shows you which way to go when you are out walking or driving" and then we moved on to something else. Three days later, having not talked about maps since, he saw a different map in a guidebook and started pointing at it saying "This is our house. This is the road to nursery. This is where Harry lives and this road is where Jesse's house is".

I don't know. Maybe I am being really PFB (please tell me if so) but I wasn't expecting this sort of stuff until he was 3 or 4 to be honest. Did I just have unrealistic expectations of what a 2.3 year old could do, or does this seem bright? And if he does seem bright, should I be doing anything to help/encourage him or just bumbling along as normal anyway?

I'll slink away quietly if the consensus is that I am being PFB (please roll your eyes at me if you feel the need!), but if not I'd love to hear from anyone who has had a bright toddler and if you did anything in particular to encourage it or just let them be.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
otchayaniye · 30/06/2010 11:24

shoudl say my best friend is an English tutor there, Anglo Saxon specialist (showing keeness on old english appears to give you an edge as its an area close to many eng tutors' hearts)

justaboutblowingbubbles · 30/06/2010 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pagwatch · 30/06/2010 11:28

Oh thanks otchayaniye
he is looking at a few and I am trying really hard to make sure he doesn't think I want him to go to Oxford and the others won't be second best. But I will shout if I think of anything.
You are great to offer, thanks!

otchayaniye · 30/06/2010 11:42

ach, don't worry. I wanted it for myself, but looked at Scottish universities and Durham too. I knew my parents (well, more my father, my mother was a little jealous, truth be told) would be proud, but it was more about me.

Thank the stars teenagers are egoists, that should take the pressure off you.

Plus, it's about the type of teaching. Oxford suits some because of its one-to-one (in some cases) teaching, flexible, less lecture/coursework-led approach. You can really develop good relationships. But it is very old fashioned and traditional.

otchayaniye · 30/06/2010 11:42

apols hijack!

alexisfaith · 30/06/2010 11:50

Our friend's DD is 2.6. As well as speaking in full, correct sentences, she has excellent memory and perception skills. Her father was driving us home from a restaurant on a pitch black winter evening when she was just 2. Her little voice said 'Daddy, you went the wrong way. You missed the left turning back that way'. He hadn't noticed (nor had we!) and she was correct. Genius! Little vicarious PFB from me, there...

megonthemoon · 30/06/2010 12:12

Hijack allowable, although boo to Oxford (I was at the other place ) Seriously - good luck pagwatch's DS!

alexis - my DS is similar with his spatial skills (and I really love it, as I studied geography). If I say we are going to Tesco/nursery/wherever he will parrot from the back seat "Not this way, mummy, this way" when we get to a junction and invariably if I check he is pointing the right way. Unfortunately he doesn't yet know the words for left and right, so I would probably crash the car while craning my neck to see which way he was pointing if I needed to rely on him So he's not really quite there as a navigating substitute for somewhat rubbish DH, although I'm working on it

Having said all this we had 3 tantrums in 30 mins this morning (one about teeth cleaning, one about nappy change, and one about which chair to sit on at breakfast) so he is still very much a typical bloody minded toddler!

OP posts:
pagwatch · 30/06/2010 12:15

"Thank the stars teenagers are egoists"

so true.

Orissiah · 30/06/2010 12:35

Your DS sounds delightful, megonthemoon. He sounds on the bright side of normal. My DD at 2.1 years is the same and I consider her bright but I don't necessarily think it means she's gifted (or destined to be so). I really do believe most children even out in the end and my DD may or may not go on to have a high IQ and PhD (like her mum!). Continue to explain things to him and continue to ENJOY him - don't push him (yet) into lots of activities and classes. I was bright and (as mentioned) ended up with high IQ and a Oxford PhD but my childhood was normal and my parents encouraged but never pushed (no classes in those days!).

Habbibu · 30/06/2010 20:43

The other place, meg? You were at Glasgow too?

Sorry...

Your ds (and you) do sound lovely. You'll have so much fun with him.

j5anna · 30/06/2010 21:47

To be honest I think it's you that deserves the credit. The things that you mention prove that its the way in which you are bringing him up that he is developing so well.
Just little things like the way you say "whats wrong, did you drop your cornflakes" instead of just mopping up his mess, and by reading classics such as the tiger came to tea, and explaining to him what a map is rather than fobbing him off.
I know so many mums whos ears are glued to their mobile phones and faces are stuck in facebook to notice their children full stop.
You sound like a fab Mum and should be very proud of yourself as well as DS.

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