My Ds is 4, nearly 5. He is very enthusiastic and loves company. A very happy boy generally. He is super excited every time we have someone here, whether they are his age or not. He is very chatty and will talk to almost anyone. (He has to practise at school to be quiet!!)
However, in his school there is only him and another little boy, who I dont think he plays with at all. (It is a small village school)DS tends to veer towards girls more than boys anyway, so this is fine. But he does tend to idolise them a little bit. For example we lived next door to a girl who was quite a bit older than him. He used to want to be with her 24/7 and when he wasnt it was all about her to the point of when he was role playing/dressing up etc, he WAS her iyswim? We have moved now and it seems to have left his head. (We were fine with it but we did say we loved him as him and didnt want him to be anyone but himself wrt wanting long hair like hers, her clothes, wanting to BE a girl etc)
Now he is at school and he has had friends over a few times. He tends to get quite excited and will do anythign and everything to gain their approval. He will do silly playing things with them (fine) but then doesnt seem to know when to stop and tends to always take the little silly things that were fine too far to the point of annoying his friends. I do tell him to calm down, and when people say stop or no then he has to stop it as they arent enjoying it anymore, but he doesnt seem to understand.
there is also a little girl who he loves that is uite rude to him lots, but being 4 her doesnt see it (but it does wind me up a little). I have told him he is allowed ot have people over (open house policy here really!) BUT it must be ok with their parents, and he must ask first. He copes well generally when people say no, but he really doesnt understand this little girls on again off again attitude to him and I can see it getting him down. He is such an open and honest little guy and will ask do you want to play with me (at the park after school or somesuch) and she will just go No really meanly and then run off to play with another school friend. But when there is noone else around she is happy to play with him, but must be the boss at all times. He is just so grateful that she is playing with him that he lets her (even though he HATES not being the 'boss' normally). But then he will ramp up the silliness again and annoy her. sigh.
SO after all that, how do I help my little guy with his friendships? Is it a case of me needing to explain stuff more or do I just nee to let him learn? It really is a small school and he will be with these children for the next few years at least and underneath all the silliness and boisterousness and loudness (which, granted, CAN be annoying!!) is a sensitive little guy and I dont want him to be on the outer iykwim? He doesnt really have any specific friends as such so tends to latch on to people who are nice to him..and then it becomes all about them which I think the kids can find disconcerting? But he is very generous and caring, giving people his things, or when other DC was sick, for example, he brought him a book to read to the couch and his favourite blanket and toy.
I just want him to have a normal childhood and friends and for him to be happy. Please help me help him!