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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 week old not settling ..... HELP!

19 replies

dolphina78 · 25/06/2010 21:34

Our 2 week old is absolutely adorable apart from when it comes to the evening, she jus doesn't seem to settle, unless she's being cuddled. As soon as we put her in her moses basket she starts to squirm for a while and then starts crying her heart out.

Is this normal? Should we leave her to cry it out as don't think I could do that, I do tend to her quite quickly when she cries?

We check her nappy and if she wants feeding every time and just cannot understand it...please help!

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randomimposter · 25/06/2010 21:45

really common in early evening IIRC! Can be colic. I tended to put DS in a sling whilst I made dinner/did some chores etc.

It passes! Prob by the time he was 6 weeks we were getting an evening break, and then he was sleeping from 7-7 by 16 weeks.

That may seem a long way away now, but it's not

Lionstar · 25/06/2010 21:47

Normal, normal, normal. She's barely been out in the air, she thinks she's still inside you. These things take time. Just cuddle her and it will pass ... eventually.

JaynieB · 25/06/2010 21:49

Congrats on your new baby!
What you are experiencing is perfectly normal.
I wouldn't expect her to settle of an evening for a good few weeks yet. She just needs to be cuddled - and even then she will probably still cry a lot of the time - as jollster says, it will pass, but these first few weeks can be really hard work.
Don't leave her to cry though - tending to her quickly will be better in the long run, she'll be comforted to know that you are there. She's very new out in the big wide world!

merrymonsters · 25/06/2010 21:55

It's normal and the constant feeding is hard, but the lovely newborn cuddling doesn't last forever. Try to enjoy it.

She's way too young for you to be worried about routines and self-settling. (It won't stop people suggesting it though). Babies need hugging.

chenge · 25/06/2010 22:06

very normal,my DD is almost 3months and she hates being cuddled already,so cuddle her now,it wont last,,for the first month my baby could only sleep longer on my chest,but now she only sleeps at all in her bed,,too early for routines,,i agree with merrymonsters,,crying it out is not for babies this small,,jusr hug her,,

Original poster

dolphina78 · 26/06/2010 13:01

Thank you everyone, it is reassuring knowing we're not the only ones going/gone through this difficult part!
Chenge - I have found the same, she sill go for twice as long in the night if she's asleep on my chest, wasn't sure I should be starting this or not tho!!

Jollster - if it was colic, wouldn't she be crying all the time, not just in the evenings?

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randomimposter · 26/06/2010 13:31

apparently lots of babies get colicky early evening and not at other times? I know it sounds odd! But the pattern you describe of little one being only unsettled early evening is exactly what I had with DS.

I googled quickly and found this - there will be more info I'm sure; colic

SoBloodyTired · 26/06/2010 13:36

Evening fussiness is normal. Babies feed frequently in the evenings, often seeking milk little and often. In breastfed babies it is thought to be their way of increasing milk supply.

I agree very much with getting a sling and carrying her for this part of the evening. There's no such thing as a bad habit in a 2 week old baby - there just isn't!

herbgarden · 26/06/2010 13:50

Both mine were unsettled 7 - 10 ish for the first 9 - 10 weeks. DS (now 4) would cry and cry - I kept him downstairs with me beside me in a moses basket with a dummy in his mouth so he was at least settled. I'd then not have to run up and downstairs popping it in and out. He'd then settle fine after a feed at 10pm. DD was just the same. I used a dummy with her too. We used to sit with her in the lounge though and she was happy to fall asleep on one of us until time for bed. After that initial period both of mine slept through by about 14 weeks and settled fine - it's just this first few months when they just don't know what's going on...go with it, don't worry and in a few months time I bet you'll see a real change. On the dummy issue - have you tried one? Mine had one for the first 4 months but not in the cot at night and I took it away after that - it was my saviour for the first few months though.
hang in there....

Octaviapink · 26/06/2010 14:54

Completely normal - what everyone else said, really!

Original poster

dolphina78 · 26/06/2010 15:27

Thank you Jollster, I will see how she goes tonight and take her out for a walk. We did put her in the car which settled her until we put her in her moses basket!
Good to know it's normal, you can deal with it moreso I think...

Herbgarden - we have bought pacifiers but midwife told us not to use them at this early stage as I'm breastfeeding so we haven't dared use them!

Also, where did you get your sling from, there are so many out there that seem to be rather expensive I'm confused which one would be good?

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randomimposter · 26/06/2010 16:17

I used a huggababy (relatively cheap) when DS was really small - it was ok. Think there are better/easier/simpler ones. I then used a BabyBjornSynergy (not very cheap at all) when he was bigger. There is a review bit for slings (have just peeked at it) which may give you a wider view. From memory I know people who used the Kari-Me who really liked it. Ref dummies - I resisted giving DS one until he was about 4 months and struggling with teething. I think if you feel confident that BF established you can give it a go... I know many BF babies who also used dummies from early on who didn't seem to be confused!
read this

Good luck - and enjoy these first few weeks; as someone else said they are oh so special!

SoBloodyTired · 26/06/2010 18:18

I used a KariMe (mine was unsettled for about 6+ hours every night until he was 6 months!) and it really, truly saved our sanity. The Moby is very similar. I got mine from eBay for a reasonable price - and slings resell well, so you can recoup your costs if it doesn't suit.

MigGril · 26/06/2010 20:10

As others have said this is totaly normal at this age. If your BF then feed her frequently in the evenings this will help estabilish your supply.

The adivice about not giving dummies in the early days is for two reasion. One nipple confusion baby may start to prefer an artivfical teat, but the main reasion is your milk supply. If you give a dummy before 4-6weeks you could interfear with estabilishing your milk suppily. Remember this no sucking at the brest is unproductive, when ever she's suckling she's stimulating your milk production. Ignore all people who tell you she's only confort sucking. It's so important to your milk supply estabilished in the early days if you want to sccefuly BF for any length of time. If in dout feed, you can't overfeed a BF baby.

HorsemadBev · 26/06/2010 21:11

Hi,
I know what you are going through. I felt shell shocked and helpless at this stage. My only advice is go with it. She will be feeling very insecure, so reassure her when she needs it ( this will be of benifit in the long term).
Evenings were the time I thought I was going to loose my mind, but rest assured it will pass in a few weeks.
It is suggested that up till 6 months of age they only cry when they need something. I totally agree with this. Too many people are way too quick to tell you 'you'll make a rod for your own back if you keep picking her up'. She needs your love and reassurance at this time, so give it freely, but know when you need time out and take half hour off away from her with a good book.
Don't feel guilty like I did for getting frustrated and angry, we are only human!!! Your baby will still love you!
Rest when you can, It will get better!
Take care

frenchfancy · 26/06/2010 22:18

Agree with others, totally normal. However you could try either making the moses basket more comfortable, using a fleece or something, or try a cot instead.

I found my babies never settled properly until I moved them into a cot (at about 6 wks, but no reason why it couldn't be earlier). I did find that adding extra padding to the moses basket made a big difference. Usually the matress is very thin, so an extra layer makes a big difference.

Chil1234 · 27/06/2010 08:39

I'm going to suggest you try lots of back rubbing and other wind-bringing-up measures before you try lying her flat. When in a cradled position (not flat) they seem to be able to cope with a bit of wind. If - when lying flat - she's crying, drawing her legs up, if her top lip looks a little grey/blue and if her eyelids are flickering then pick her up and keep patting. I seem to remember spending ages every evening de-winding my baby before he would settle down. Good luck

Original poster

dolphina78 · 03/07/2010 14:25

Thank you everyone, am gradually putting her down so she gets more used to it. Chiki1234 - I think you're right, I think she has some excess wind I don't manage to get out of her leaving her unsettled on her back.

I have today received my Moby wrap so looking forward to trying it out!

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Original poster

dolphina78 · 03/07/2010 14:26

Sorry, that mean to say Chi1234

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