Feeling very bad, how would you have handled this?

[tryingtobemarrypoppins2]

DS1 2:7 years.
I was going to leave potty training on the advice of experienced mums on another thread as DS2 is 4 months and DS1 is very upset still by his arrival.

But would you believe it this morning whilst nappy free he did a poo then a wee in the potty! Yippee!

So this afternoon after watching some TV and it being a long hour since last wee I asked him to use the potty before playing outside. He said no, ran off, wouldn't come back etc etc. Throw a major wobbly hit me then bit me. All he wanted was to play outside. He then ran to brand new play house and did a wee in the corner.

I went mad, picked him up shouted at him for hitting and biting then plonked him on potty only for him to go nuts again. So then I put him in his room, 5 mins later he is fast asleep. Clearly he was very tired.

Feel really bad I wasn't cross about the wee but for running off, not coming back and for hitting and biting me.
I should have put him to bed sooner,avoiding teh whole thing. I have probably ruined potty training now haven't I?

bumping

So your human. It doesn't sound like you should be too hard on yourself.

If the weeing in the playhouse was a willfull act then it sounds as though your actually quite close to him mastering the potty.

Have you thought how you will handle hitting and not coming back another time?

Do you have any thoughts about positive rewards for when he does go and the times things do go right? - stickers stars on a wall chart for everyone who visits to see how clever he is?

Thanks for reply ANTagony yes praise for going is going well....Chocolate buttons!

But what should I do next time about the hitting and not coming back?

There are many systems that work for different people. For me hitting (particularly lashing out at adults) is an absolute no no. Both my DS's have gone through a phase of it.

Its one of the few things which is an instant time out on the step/ sitting on the spot with an explanation you will not hit mummy its not nice to hit left for a couple of minutes until their ready to say sorry.

Not everyone is a fan of time out/ naughty steps and if your child gets on well with praise and rewards theres always taking stars off a chart where when you get to this point you get chocolate buttons.

The key seams to be what ever system you go for try to be consistent and clear to him in your approach.

My experience is that even the most delightful toddler can turn into Purple-faced Gargoyle from Hell when they're tired. Rationality, good behaviour and everything else out of the window just for the sake of forty winks. It's why naps were quite a timetable thing for me... a lie down whether you need it or not!!

I'm sure he won't remember a thing about it and you can resume potty training no problem.

Thanks Chil1234. Is having tantrums and potty training something that goes together or should you wait till the terrible 2's are over?? But then theres the 3's......Oh help!!

I just think tantrums and 'tiredness' go together. Learning something new is quite difficult whether you're 2 or 32... and if you're not feeling 100% because you're tired then you're going to have a short fuse (again, any age)

I'd simply wait until he's looking all fresh and in a good mood again and then give it another whirl. He got it the first time and, given half a chance, he'll be anxious to please. Also, if potty-training him means you're not with your baby so much ("I'm going to put this rather boring baby down so that you can show me how interesting, grown-up and clever you are using that potty") then he'll see it as a very constructive way to get Mummy's attention.